So much of our history is a lie.

That’s been true for at least the last 250 years (at least….) but probably way, way longer than that.

The more I’m setting myself the task of untangling Jewish history, the more lies, deliberate misinformation and obfuscation I’m tripping over.

Because so much of what I’m learning is hugely controversial, and has huge implications for our communities today, I’m treading very, very carefully.

For once.

That means that even though I appear to be finding out a lot of stuff, I’m not rushing into print. I first have to check, and double-check everything very carefully, against multiple sources, to try to shake out what’s true, and what’s deliberately false.

And that’s going to take me a while.

====

In the meantime, I thought I’d share some of the broader questions I’m grappling with mentally, and some of the broader ideas, and I welcome your input, if you have any, because I’m understanding more and more, how little any of us really understand about anything.

So, here’s what I’m asking myself at the moment:

  • Is there any real difference between ‘practical kabbalah’ – defined as manipulating the natural world in any way that isn’t via supplications to Hashem, aka ‘prayer’ – and black magic?
  • Why doesn’t our Jewish education system teach the simple fact that many, if not most, of the Jewish communities throughout history have been woefully lax in mitzvah observance?

We get all these ‘tzaddik’ stories, and all these hagiographic accounts of how holy our grandparents were etc etc etc – but what I’m learning shows this simply isn’t true. The majority of Jewish communities throughout history, especially in the big cities, have had some enormous issues even keeping basic mitzvot.

====

Once I learned, for example, that many of the Spanish and Portuguese Jews of the 16th and 17th century continued to be uncircumcised for decades – even after rejoining the Jewish community – and continued to find it very difficult to do things like keep the laws of kashrut, that personally was so helpful.

It’s hard to reconcile a kind, loving God with this fake picture of ‘perfect’ Jewish communities, who had nothing more to do than wait for Moshiach to show up. When that’s the paradigm you are operating out of, it gives a lot of yeoush about geula. 

I mean, if our oh-so-pious ancestors couldn’t bring moshiach, then what hope do we have?!

But really?

On so many levels, our generation is actually doing so much better than those of the past.

====

Yes, we all have massive, massive spiritual challenges going on, especially from technology and tumah.

But never before have there been so many sincere people, really trying their best to just do good, and to try to build the world, and to do the right thing, even if there’s so much confusion about what that actually means.

Most Jews today are at least circumcised.

And that by itself is huge!

====

Here’s some more of the questions I’m wrestling with:

  • If you had solid evidence that ‘Frankism’ – the false messianic religion of Jacob Frank, that seeks to eradicate Torah Judaism by all sorts of deceit and cunning, and replace it with a mish-mash ‘one world religion’ – had infiltrated all spheres of Jewish life, including even some ‘ultra orthodox’ and ‘chassidic’ communities – what would you do with that information?

Sit on it, because it’s frankly totally mind-blowing and extremely disturbing on so many levels – or share it?

And if you say ‘share it’ – then what is the good outcome, that you’d hope to get from sharing it?

====

These are not simple questions, are they?

I’m doing a lot of praying right now, to see what God really wants.

But let me leave you with this one thing:

If there is any ‘thing’, any person, any ‘action’ throughout Jewish history that has left you with an uneasy feeling, like something isn’t quite right, I strongly recommend you take some time to try to pin that down.

What I’m learning at the moment is that all my ‘hunches’ or feelings that something wasn’t quite right with a whole bunch of things seem to have at least some solid justification.

That doesn’t mean everything I thought is right, or that all my ‘suspicions’ and niggles are correct.

But the sad truth is, so many of our leaders and rabbis and ‘famous people’ – for the last 500 years! – are actually not coming from a good place.

====

The upside-down world is finally righting itself.

What that means is that very soon, all the ‘billionaires’ are going to be totally reviled for selfishly hoarding all that cash and using it for nefarious ends, instead of generously sharing it out with the rest of us.

And it also means that so many of those people who have been preening themselves on their great ‘yichus’, and how they’re connected to so many ‘big’ people are soon going to find out that many of their ancestors are actually a source of terrible shame and embarrassment.

And sadly, it also means that we’re going to have to brace ourselves for some very sordid information to start coming out about people who pretend to be ‘Jews’, externally, but who really are following their own religion.

And that includes so many of the top brass associated with the State of Israel, and with the Jewish communities in the diaspora, and with the so-called ‘religious’ world.

It’s the olam hafuch, where the least of us are really at the top of this world’s pyramid, and the best of us are really at the bottom.

But not for much longer.

====

Even if I don’t write about it explicitly on this blog – and it’s very possible that I won’t – that information is coming down, and it’s coming out, one way or another.

It’s what has to happen before we can get to the next stage of geula.

But HOW that’s going to happen… and what part this blog should be playing in that process…

I don’t know.

====

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In a few hours time, I’m probably going to have someone with a broken leg come and stay on my couch for a week.

He’s someone that we met around a year ago, when my kids started making friends with a whole new crowd of kids that can be succinctly called ‘chareidi-world dropouts’.

When we first met these kids, they were kinda scary, if I’m honest. Angry young men smoking two packs a day and trying very hard to evince a ‘cool’ persona, as part of the defense mechanism they evolved to try to deal with a harsh world.

But over time, the defenses started to melt, and underneath I realized that these kids have some of the biggest hearts, and biggest souls, in the world.

====

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The main reason they ‘dropped out’ of chareidi society is because at home or at yeshiva (and often both…) they were subject to some really bad bullying and emotional manipulation.

I wrote a little about that HERE, but I want to return to this subject today, because chareidi or not, it’s relevant to all of us right now, and very relevant to the question of what it’s going to take to get out of the ‘Covid 1984 cult’, as a people.

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If you’ve been with me for long, then you already know that as well as writing this blog, for a few years I was regularly writing and researching the links between mental, physical and spiritual health, too.

I learned a whole bunch of what you’d call ‘alternative therapies’; I bottomed out what was ‘kosher’ and what wasn’t – which you can basically sum up as anything that there is a scientific explanation for, however ‘woo-woo’ it may seem initially, is kosher.

And then, I went and wrote a few books to sum up this new-found knowledge, including Talk to God and Fix Your Health, and more recently, People Smarts.

All this is directly connected to questions of ‘who is Erev Rav’, and questions of why people act the way they do, because what I discovered during the course of all this learning and research is that

Traumatic experiences dramatically affect a person’s personality.

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So, if a kid has to leave home and live on the street, or the beach, for a couple of years, because it’s just too hard to be at home, the trauma of this whole experience can radically warp their personality, and leave them permanently in ‘stressed’ mode.

And when people are in ‘stressed’ mode, they act angry and aggressive. Or they panic and become commitment-phobic (or more socially ‘acceptable’, they become workaholics and busy-a-holics). Or, they sink into the ‘freeze’, zombified state that is most commonly referred to as ‘depression’.

Or, they become superficial robots, scared to be different, scared to provoke a reaction from the bullies that have been controlling and manipulating them since they were born, and lose touch with their real emotions and neshama.

All these things happen, when we’ve had to deal with a lot of trauma that wasn’t processed properly.

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Now, let’s circle back around, and see how all this fits together with the guy on my couch, and Covid 1984, and Rabbi Berland and his community being ‘excommunicated’, and the Bnei Brak lockdown, and the Erev Rav.

The guy on my couch is super-sweet.

When we came back to Israel and had to go into two weeks of isolation, this was the person that made sure we had milk in the fridge and some food to eat in the cupboards, before I managed to figure out online supermarket shopping.

He came every day and checked in on our rabbit – for nearly 4 weeks!

He watered our garden.

The guy on my couch also has what you’d call a ‘mild mohican’ haircut, and (used to….) drive a motorbike very fast.

If you met him on the street, you’d probably be a little intimidated, especially a year ago when he was still very ‘macho’.

Because of all the trauma he experienced in the chareidi world, he finds it very hard to do things like keep Shabbat, or stay in a house for any length of time. Before Covid 1984, he and his friends used to spend a lot of time living by rivers up North, and just spending weeks camping out by the Kinneret.

====

Two weeks ago, he had an awful accident on his bike, where he was really lucky to come out of it alive. He broke his leg in 9 places, now has platinum pins holding his bones together, and is in a tremendous amount of pain.

Last week, he also kept Shabbat for the first time in a very long time.

It’s been a very harsh wake-up call, but I can see the underlying kindness in it, because this guy was so ‘scared’ of being trapped in a house, in a home, that he’s been pushing off getting married, and pushing off settling down, for a few years.

And God wants that to change.

====

Last year, he started getting his act together, and he went back to school to complete his matriculation – that happened just before Rosh Hashana. The plan was for him to start studying to be a mechanic, but thanks to Covid 1984, it’s been a little stuffed-up. But in the meantime, he’s in a program that arranged for him to room-mate in Jerusalem, with a few other ‘chareidi drop-outs’ like him.

One of the guys in his apartment is an aggressive, manipulative bully.

Long story short, spending time stuck in that apartment is doing my little Mohican buddy a LOT of harm, spiritually, emotionally and physically. And that is why BH, I’ve invited him to come and spend a week on my couch, so he can start to really heal from everything he’s gone through.

Now, what does this have to do with Covid 1984, Bnei Brak and the Erev Rav?

Let’s try to set it out clearly.

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A few years ago, I wrote a book called Unlocking the Secret of the Erev Rav, where I pointed out, with lots and lots of sources, how it’s totally unhelpful to try to categorise ‘Erev Rav’ as being a specific group of people.

I wrote that book because I was getting sick and tired of all these people online claiming that only Israeli politicians, only left-wingers, only Democrats, only secular people could be Erev Rav.

That’s patently untrue.

‘Erev Rav’ refers to a collection of very negative character traits that include cruelty, immorality, bullying, stirring up trouble, shocking, two-faced hypocrisy, holier-than-thou-itis, greed for money and power, controlling other people, and a few other things besides.

All of us have at some of these traits, at least some of the time, in varying proportions.

The more we work to overcome these negative character traits, the less ‘Erev Rav’ we will be.

==

Yesterday, I posted up a link to a message from the daughter of the kabbalist Rabbi Chaim Dovid Stern, where she made it clear that the MAIN consideration of who is going to be around to greet Moshiach is not Torah learning, or length of beard, or yichus (more on this in a moment…) – but the way we treat our fellow Jew.

Or to put it another way, how careful we are about not hurting other people, and trying to do kindnesses for them.

On that score, my Motorbike Mohican buddy – and many of his friends – are light years ahead of the frum parents, rabbis and teachers who treated them so badly in the chareidi world.

Or to put it another way, Bnei Brak, Modiin Illit, Beitar Illit – and all those other chareidi cities that are currently being discriminated against in the most awful ways by this anti-semitic government need to make a lot of teshuva in the area of the mitzvoth bein adam l’havero.

====

(Shuli Rand, below, is summing up what I’m talking about, in a different way:)

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If those communities had been ‘solid’ on these mitzvahs – and particularly the different Breslov factions of those communities – they would never have bought into all the slander and lies being told about Rav Berland and his community.

And the Rav being ‘excommunicated’ by a Beit Din in Bnei Brak is the main reason that the city of Bnei Brak is being singled out for the harshest punishment now, as part of the Covid 1984 eugenics agenda.

But of course, that excommunication was just a sign, a symptom, of the much deeper malaise that has been infecting the frum world for years and years.

Even centuries.

====

Here’s where we get into ‘crazy’ territory.

The last few weeks, I’ve been absorbed in some deep level research about the real roots of the so-called ‘Illuminati’, and how that links up with the Frankists, and with the Rothschilds / Jewish bankers, and with the State of Israel, and also, sadly, with the chareidi community.

I’m still putting the pieces together, and it’s been an extremely challenging project, but one thing I can already tell you:

A lot of secret believers in the cult created by Shabtai Tzvi – both in the Sephardic and the Ashkenazic world – have been part of the externally frum religious community for approaching four centuries.

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These people have a few different hallmarks.

  • They are obsessed with yichus (especially, with being related to King David).
  • They practice endogamy – i.e., they are careful to only marry within their own extended families, because they only want to marry other ‘believers’ in the cult of Shabtai Tzvi.
  • They cause controversy and arguments wherever they go.
  • They are arch hypocrites – pretending be the strictest of strict on the outside, in order to hide their secret Shabbatean connections and beliefs.
  • They are frequently engaged in – and covering up for – extremely immoral acts, behind closed doors.
  • Their teachings actually pull people away from God, and a genuine soul connection to Judaism.
  • They rule their communities with bullying tactics and intimidation, encouraging a ‘cultish’ atmosphere where no-one can challenge authority or ask questions.
  • They are into cronyism big time. People don’t hold important positions because they are worthy of those positions. They hold positions because of who they know or who they are related to.
  • They are obsessed with money, owning property and materialism.
  • They have some very solid ‘links’ to elements in the secular and non-Jewish world, frequently co-operating in ways that seem hugely surprising to outside observers, and are often ‘praised’ by the secular and non-Jewish world and held up as being ‘model examples’ of how frum people, frum rabbis should be.

====

I could go on, but we’ll stop there for now.

I know this is highly controversial information, so I’m trying to share it as gently as I can.

But the point is this:

While there is so much good within the chareidi world, and so many people who are tzaddikim, and truly salt of the earth, good Jews, so many of the leaders and educators in that world – same as in the secular world – are people with very bad middot, who have created a society where a lot of unhealthy attitudes have flourished.

Like, keeping appearances. Like, putting yichus ahead of personal qualities. Like, controlling people, and trying to force conformity with manipulation and threats, instead of open discussions and appreciation of other people’s individuality and free choice. Like, doing things for personal gain and selfish agendas, ahead of what’s really best for the wider community.

This is exactly what the secular government is now trying to do to us with all this COVID-1984 manipulation, lies and propaganda.

It’s all midda kneged midda.

====

So, let’s sum this up.

When we write that the frum community has to make teshuva for how they treated Rav Berland and the Shuvu Banim community, clearly we’re talking about the unhealthy, anti-Torah, anti-emuna attitudes that have taken hold there that enabled all the ‘anti-Rav’ sentiment to flourish.

The guy on my couch couldn’t stay in his community because he couldn’t stand the hypocrisy, the superficiality, the keeping up appearances, and the bullying behavior and insensitivity to the deeper levels of the human soul that he experienced there.

These attitudes and behaviors have penetrated deep into the frum world, because for the last 400 years, so many of the rabbis and communal figures in the Jewish world have been secret believers in the cult of Shabtai Tzvi, which has very strong links to the world of Jewish finance – and by extension, the Illuminati.

This cult has infected both the Sephardi and Ashkenazi worlds; it’s spread its tentacles into every area of Jewish life, both orthodox and ‘progressive’; it’s present in the State of Israel, but equally present at all levels of communal life in Jewish communities in the Diaspora; it includes the most virulently secular AND the most virulently ‘religious’ (externally);

And it’s characterized by immorality, finger-pointing hypocrisy, greed, power-seeking and a disregard of other people’s feelings, basic human rights and sensitivities.

That’s what we’re up against.

====

Covid 1984 is just coming to clean house.

No-one can think it’s ‘OK’ to force other people to stay locked-down, or masked-up, or to ‘force’ vaccinations on other people unless they have already been ‘brainwashed’, in some way, by an unhealthy society.

That’s why we’re seeing these ‘brainwashed’ individuals – who are often outspoken bullies – on all sides of the equation.

But it’s time to stand up for ourselves, and for God, and for the holy, Divine-given free choice that each of us has, and which defines us as human beings and Jews, and to draw the line in the sand.

And the starting point is to begin working on our own bad middot, and to stop buying the line that ‘our community’ doesn’t have any problems, and that ‘Erev Rav’ can only ever be the other guy, the other family, the other side of the argument.

Because that’s just not true.

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It’s so strange.

I am sitting here, with no idea what to do with myself.

This is highly unusual – I’m a person who nearly always has a project going on, and the only time I take a break is for a couple of days in between starting the next thing.

But at the moment, I’m finding it hard to motivate myself to really ‘do’ anything. I know it’s the uncertainty. I also know that it’s the fact that every single person in my family is still in my house.

And that’s mamash cramping my style in a million different ways.

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I’m a person who likes to listen to one song, obsessively.

If I like a song, I can easily listen to it six times in a row – and I like to do that. But no-one else likes to listen to my songs six times in a row, so I can’t do that right now, and it’s grating.

(I won’t do that on ear-phones because I listen to the music while I’m doing things like washing up, hanging washing etc, not just hanging out by PC for half an hour listening to music.)

I’m also a person who likes and needs my own space.

I don’t like company 24/7. I’m a writer, sometimes my soul really craves solitude and peaceful contemplation.

That is also part of the reason that my writing is drying up at the moment, because I just am not getting that ‘alone’ time, and where in the past I used to go for long walks to grab it for myself, I can’t really do that because of the coronafascists, that are demanding I mask-up 24/7 while in the fresh air.

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Baruch Hashem, I’m in a pretty big house at the moment.

God really gave me such a present, because we moved to this house a week before COVID-1984 took off, and at the time I couldn’t understand why I’d had such itchy feet to leave the last place.

Very quickly, it became obvious.

This place has 2 floors… and a garden…. And a mirpesset…. And a few other little places where you can hang out, even in bidud (quarantine) and just breathe a little.

So I’m very, very lucky.

But I’m still finding this hard going.

====

Usually, I can bang out articles in half an hour flat.

I started writing this 2 hours ago, and then I had to stop to give someone a lift somewhere, and then I had to stop again to help someone else find something online, and then I got distracted by a ‘big conversation’ that was going on.

And now I’m writing this as my eardrums are being blasted to oblivion (again….) by my teenagers’ loud music. Like, really loud.

Sigh.

It’s all just avodat hamiddot isn’t it?

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Friday, I got so frustrated with one of my kids who phoned up to ask for a lift after I’d been telling her the whole week that if she DID want me to get on her Friday, she’d have to let me know by Thursday pm, so I could arrange my Shabbat cooking schedule accordingly.

Thursday we spoke, and she told me:

Yah, mum, I’ll make my own way back, don’t worry.

Are you SURE???????

I asked her.

Because if you change your mind last minute, it’s not going to be pretty….

Yah, yah, I don’t need you to get me tomorrow, it’s fine, mum.

She lied.

At 12pm, Friday, I get another phone call from this same kid:

Err, mum can you come and get me??

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Usually, I really try to be as flexible as possible, especially in these strange COVID-1984 times.

But I just couldn’t. I got so angry at her that I just put the phone down for a minute and pretended that the connection had gone awol, so I could collect myself and not say something I’d regret for the rest of my life.

Long story short, I didn’t go to get her.

And then, I spent the next three hours trying to deal with the overwhelming feelings of rage and anger that suddenly started stormin’ up like a Category 5 Hurricane Rivka.

Man, it was SO hard.

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I simply didn’t talk to anyone in my house, for 3 hours.

Because I was scared that if I said anything, anything at all, it would be really bad.

And in the meantime, I cooked and I asked God to help me, and I tried to not get even more upset when my food started coming out not so good, because I was in such a bad mood.

God, how much longer????

How much longer do I have to stay cooped up with all these retarded people, having to cook all this food all the time, and having to tidy up all the time because there is always so much mess, and washing, because everyone is here, and having to listen to THEIR music all the time, and having to keep working on all these bad middot that keep bubbling up with the constant aggravation and irritation and low-level fear about what’s coming next….

Ad matai?!?!??

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The answer was:

At least a few weeks more, and maybe a few months more, because THIS is the real test, Rivka. THIS.

Hanging out with your family and doing nice things for them and not killing them and working on your own bad middot.

THIS is the real test.

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So, that’s when I realized that I really can’t let the anger and rage burst out and rule me, because it looks like there are many more weeks, if not months, of this test to go. And if I turn into Genghis Khan, it’s going to make it so much harder for absolutely everyone around me.

[Picking this up another hour later, as a kid needed a tremp somewhere.]

====

Someone just sent me two recordings.

One is of Rav Pinto essentially saying that what is happening now is very similar to how the holocaust began.

First, there was some ‘low level’ anti-semitism, and then – 7 million Jews got killed.

And then, there was another recording in Hebrew, which you can listen to for yourself HERE:

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This was from the daughter of the famous kabbalist from Bnei Brak, Rabbi Chaim Dovid Stern.

She says that Adar is going to be a very tough, scary month for the world.

That lots of people aren’t going to make it.

And that lots of people that everyone thinks are ‘tzaddikim gemurim’ with big beards and kippahs, and who apparently learn a lot of Torah, are amongst those who won’t be around to greet Moshiach.

When the interviewer asked her why not, Rabbanit bat Stern was very clear:

The whole test is bein adam l’havero – how we treat our fellow man.

====

If someone is learning Torah, but abusing their wife verbally and emotionally – they won’t be here to greet moshiach.

If someone is a big Rosh Yeshiva, a leading rabbi, but they are going around stirring up trouble, and getting into arguments with the neighbors all the time, or causing strife and bad feelings wherever they go – they won’t be here to greet moshiach.

All of us have so much teshuva we need to make, particularly in the area of our bad middot and how we treat our fellow Jews.

And top of that list is what’s going on behind closed doors, with our spouses and kids.

====

So today, I told one of my girls:

Dearie, it’s suddenly dawned on me that we are probably going to be hanging out together for at least another five months. Prepare yourself mentally, because THIS is the test.

THIS.

To be with our families, without distractions, maybe also without a whole lot of parnassa, and with a lot of external worry and stress, and to still treat them nicely and considerately.

Man, that’s a test.

A massive test.

But with Moshiach truly imminent, it’s slowly dawning on me that that’s the whole point.

====

UPDATE:

Daisy just sent me a link to this video (not shmirat aynayim friendly, but well worth listening to:)

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Vera Sherav is a medical doctor and holocaust survivor, who has been fighting for human rights against the medical establishment for decades.

The main point she makes is that we have to stand up for ourselves, and to protect ourselves from people who don’t have our best interests at heart, and to stand up to the bullies that are pouring out of the woodwork, under cover of Coronafascism.

This is connected to all the bad middot I’m talking about above.

When we stop making excuses for our own manipulation of others, and using threats and scare tactics to control others, and forcing others to put what’s good for us ahead of what’s good for them – that’s when we’ll be able to get out from under the jackboot of this Coronavirus dictatorship.

It’s midda k’neged midda.

And once we fix our own middot, the madness will finally stop.

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A reader asked if I could write a ‘chizzuk’ post.

Honestly, I’d like to do that way more than I do on this blog, but sometimes, it just doesn’t come to me. Especially recently.

But a reader got in touch, and told me they have friends in Israel who recently made aliya, and who are now wondering if they made the right decision, especially with all the revelations about just how corrupt this State really is.

What can I say?

You absolutely made the right decision.

Yes, I know the Kotel is shut to anyone outside the Rova, the holy sites are closed down, Mahane Yehuda is off limits, the beach is shut, and the police are violent thugs and psychopaths who have been trained to hate and attack religious Jews.

Yes, that sucks.

I also know that so many of us are going a little crazy from being ‘locked down’ in small apartments, stuck with our families 24/7 and being forced to wear masks for fear of massive fines.

(And not because we’re scared of a virus that has incontrovertibly killed less people than the common flu.)

But nevertheless, you absolutely made the right decision to move to Israel now.

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Here’s why:

  1. So many of our true tzaddikim, the people who really know what they are talking about and aren’t confused by what’s going on, have repeatedly told us to make aliya. And top of that list is Rabbi Eliezer Berland.
  2. Israel is still the holy land, and it’s still chock-full of holy Jews. Once more of us holy Jews understand who the real ‘enemy’ is – and that is slowly dawning on more and more of us – things will turnaround here fast, and fundamentally.
  3. Israel is just 3 months ahead of the rest of the world. Whatever is going on here today will be going on by you very soon – except you’ll also have to deal with way more violent non-Jews, and way more toxic anti-semitism, because Jews are a tiny minority in every other country, even the US, whereas here, they are a massive majority. It’s the bad guys here who are the minority, so when things change – as they inevitably will – the majority rule here will be one of kedusha.

And hopefully, also of geula and Moshiach.

====

Nachamu, Nachamu, my people.

Don’t forget that the power of prayer can change everything around, and that our real strength is in our tefilla, not in our hishtadlut.

Turn to God, wherever you happen to be in the world, and beg Him to end all the evil, all the coronafascism, all the madness, and to uncover the lies and help more Jews to make teshuva and return to God, and their true spiritual greatness.

We have been ruled by a small, evil minority of Shabatean ‘crypto Jews’ for approaching three centuries now, who made it a priority to place their people into positions of leadership and power, where they could influence – and ultimately destroy – so much of our kedusha and connection to Hashem.

====

Those people run the State of Israel, it’s true.

But they are to be found all over the world in Jewish leadership positions, and especially amongst the ranks of ‘rabbis’ and communal leaders.

More on this soon, BH.

But the bottom line is, staying out of Israel doesn’t mean you are staying out of the problem.

The ‘problem’ is everywhere.

But at least in Israel, there’s also a few million sincere, believing Jews, too. Like, half the country (at least….) has been to Uman, regardless of how they look externally, and Rabbenu’s Army is a massive force to be reckoned with now.

And don’t forget, that it’s ultimately just God, who is behind all this, because He wants some serious teshuva.

====

So courage!

We are almost at the finishing line.

Anyone who lives in Israel will probably have a much easier time from here on in, as hard as it is, because all the suffering we’ve endured here is ‘sweetening’ things for us in a profound way, as we head into the final lap for geula.

And anyone that doesn’t – you can connect to God from wherever you are, and connect to Rabbenu, and to the Rav, wherever you live.

True, it’s easier – way easier – to do that in Israel. But it’s possible everywhere.

And each one of us that keeps praying, keeps talking to God, keeps asking Hashem to send us geula and Moshiach the sweet way, and keeps working on our own bad middot, is automatically part of Rabbenu’s Army, and part of something way bigger, spiritually, than any of us can really comprehend.

====

I know it’s hard right now.

The light has been so obscured.

But hang on!

It’s all about to turn around.

====

UPDATE:

This from Alizah – thanks!

It’s the follow up to the first video from Rabbi Smith, which you can find HERE (scroll down to the bottom).

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Back in the holocaust, so many of the people involved in the mass destruction of humanity tried to claim they were ‘just

following orders’.

The guards who were guarding the trains leading to Auschwitz; the police officers who were rounding people up and ‘enforcing the closure’ of Jewish businesses leading up to 1939, in Germany; the ordinary Germans who’d been trained by Goebbels’ propaganda machine to see Jews as ‘disease vectors’, and enemies of public health – everyone was ‘just following orders’.

That’s what they claimed after the war was finished, and all of these crimes of humanity were held up to the harsh light of truth.

Once the propaganda and self-interest was cleared out of the way, all of these people could be seen for what they truly were: agents of evil.

And that’s something that they, and their children, have to live with for posterity.

====

This morning, I saw a shocking video of Israeli police breaking up a small, outdoor wedding in Givat Ze’ev, close to the outskirts of Jerusalem.

While the secular media is keen to try to say this is a chareidi wedding, from seeing the footage it’s more just a religious wedding, with some chareidi elements involved.

Don’t fool yourselves.

The police here are violent brownshirts who are ‘just following orders’, regardless of how many people they hurt and maim, and regardless of how ‘just’ those orders happen to be, in the first place.

====

You can see the shocking footage for yourself here:

WARNING: IT’S VERY DISTURBING

====

So now, what are we to make of all this?

How should we be responding, as the State of Israel descends into behavior that even the most ‘rosy-glassed’ of us will have troubles categorising as anything other than violently anti-semitic?

If we’d see those scenes in any other country, we’d be roundly crying out ‘anti-semitism! Brownshirts! World War II, all over again!!!’

Because make no mistake, the people who beat up, rounded up, deported, shot and ultimately gassed Jews in World War II all thought they were on some holy ‘mission’ to stop ‘disease carrying’ Jews from infecting the rest of humanity.

“2000 Germans have died (in the last 10 months….) because of these irresponsible, chareidi Jews that are not following orders!!!!

Goebbels, or Gamzu said this?

You tell me.

====

For years, we’ve been brainwashed into not criticising anything the State of Israel does, for fear of giving more ammunition to the ‘anti-semites’.

Dear readers, it’s time for us to wake up and see that the worst anti-semites in the world now run the ‘Jewish State’, and encourage their brownshirts to beat up religious Jews for the ‘crime’ of holding a small wedding in their back garden.

How much is it going to take, before we start to understand that the State, and it’s institutions, are run by the same people, the same forces, who also created World War II, and also encourage the holocaust?

How many more ‘similarities’, how many more scenes of police inflicting what is nothing less than a pogrom on religious Jews, is it going to take, before more of us finally accept that the State of Israel – and it’s politicians, elites and institutions – is the most endemically anti-semitic country on the face of the earth?

====

The xtians that beat up and murdered Jews always had their self-righteous reasons why what they were doing was ‘ok’.

These Jews killed our kryst, so it’s super-ok to kill them back….

The police in Soviet Russia always had their self-righteous reasons why it was OK to kill Jews and suppress the Jewish religion.

These religious Jews are subversive elements, who are undermining the fabric of Mother Russia.

The SS also had their self-righteous reasons why gassing, shooting and killing Jews was a mitzvah:

These Jews are unhygenic. They are ‘poisoning’ the blood of everyone else, with their filthy habits and unhygenic, medieval practices.

Here’s a quote from Mein Kampf, written by the arch anti-semite himself, Hitler (may his name be erased):

“Hence today I believe that I am acting in accordance with the will of the Almighty Creator: by defending myself against the Jew, I am fighting for the work of the Lord.”

====

I can’t help but wonder how history is going to judge the politicians, bureaucrats and policemen here, who are mamash beating Jews up, locking them down, and preventing us from practising even the basic tenets of religious life, like praying, and getting married, all in the name of coronafascism.

I know they are telling themselves fairy tales about ‘saving the country from a pandemic’. Or telling themselves fairy tales about how no-one can blame them for beating up their fellow Jews, and helping to impose a violent, anti-semitic dictatorship in Israel, because they are only following orders.

Because otherwise, how would these people be able to sleep at night?

I wonder that about all those ‘journalists’, too, who put paying their mortgage – even if it’s been funded by the forces of evil – ahead of telling the truth, and having integrity in their reporting, and working to unite Jews, instead of demonising the chareidim.

How do you sleep, editors of the Jpost, Times of Israel and Yeshiva World News?

====

Evil always starts small.

Always.

The people who don’t slam the brakes on at the start, who don’t come out protesting when their fellow Jews are being ruthlessly beaten up for a chimera, a con, a lie, will get taken down a path where they become more and more complicit with evil.

Until finally, they come to represent it.

====

So, let me end with a plea to all those policemen, and all those journalists, and all those bureaucrats, and all those politicians – and everyone else caught up in continuing this lie of coronafacism, both here and elsewhere.

Dear Jew, I know you have a very difficult choice to make. I know most of you started off your careers with high hopes to make a positive difference, and to do ‘good’ for the Jewish people. I know the people running the State of Israel have brainwashed you – and all of us – into never questioning what the State says or does, and to always just believe it’s somehow for the best.

I also know that you have bills to pay, and mortgages to keep up with, and that you really need your salary right now.

BUT.

I’m still begging you:

Quit now, while your souls are still somewhat intact.

This coronafascism is leading down the same dark path that lead to the crematoria of Auschwitz, and that lead to all Jews being demonised and destroyed by the forces of evil.

This is about eugenics and controlling the world, not ‘saving people’ from coronavirus.

So please, take the blinders off, see where this is really going, and stop telling yourself that it’s ok to participate in what’s going on, because:

I’m only following orders.

Because history has shown, that’s never a good enough justification.

====

UPDATE:

I was trying to find the clip of when the Russian police commit a pogrom in Anatevka, and start beating up people at Tevya’s wedding, but for some reason, I couldn’t.

But I found this instead, and maybe, this is more the message we need right now:

L’chaim! To life! They aren’t going to win! They’ve tried so many times before, and Hashem has always thwarted their plans.

And the same is going to happen this time too, BH, as soon as enough of us wake up, and make teshuva on believing the lying media, and justifying the unnacceptable.

====

One of the commentators just sent this excellent video from Rabbi David Smith, who is a frum biochemist, explaining what’s really going on with ‘public health’ – and how it’s got ZERO to do with healing people from illness.

The nazis were very big on their ‘public health’.

And if that doesn’t set your alarm bells ringing, then I don’t know what will. Hear him below:

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There’s a lot of fear in the air at the moment.

I know in my own household, at least one of us is currently in the middle of a week-long panic attack that is really not pretty to watch, or experience.

Everywhere you go, people are cracking up.

We’ve all been under so much stress for so long, that our ‘stress response’ is now almost permanently switched on, and raging away.

In case you forgot, here’s the four main stress responses (and if you want to know more about all this, let me plug my People Smarts Stress Personality book, that came out literally the week COVID-1984 kicked off, and promptly sank like a stone.

You can get it HERE.)

====

  1. ANGER (fight)
  2. PANIC (flight)
  3. DEPRESSION / ZOMBIFICATION (freeze)
  4. TOTAL DENIAL OF THE PROBLEM (flatter)

Each of our personalities is ‘tuned’ to one or two of these stress responses in particular, but we can all also experience all 4, too, depending on what’s going on.

====

Again, the book sets out a ton of info about the different personalities, based on the 4 elements of Jewish thought, fire, air, water and earth.

Long story short, while the first 3 are pretty obvious to spot, usually, it’s the people with a lot of EARTH / FLATTER in their personalities who are probably finding things the hardest going at the moment, because things are reaching such a crescendo, it’s getting almost impossible to ignore that something big is happening here.

And while the first 3 categories generally tend to acknowledge there is a problem, albeit often in an unhealthy way, EARTH / FLATTER people will hang on to their denial with every drop of their strength.

And that’s what leads to them getting pretty sick, physically, as the body doesn’t lie, and the headaches and stomachaches and weird pains and insomnia will just continue to ratchet on up, until the person stops lying to themselves, and finally accepts that something is going on.

And that something is making them scared. Or angry. Or depressed.

====

And now, for once, God really wants them to stop lying to themselves about what’s going on – and to stop calling other people conspiracy theorists, and to stop sanctimoniously criticising other people for worrying about nothing, and not having enough (fake….) emuna….

And to get real.

That’s what it’s going to take, to make it into the world of truth.

Not to get ‘perfect’, not to have no more bad middot any more, not to pretend we don’t feel angry, scared or depressed about what’s going on.

But just to get real.

And then, to take all that ‘real’ back to God, and to talk to Him about it, and to ask Him to really help us to deal with what we’re truly feeling inside.

====

Here’s the thing:

The EARTH people hold the key to all this turning around the sweet way.

Those ‘salt of the earth’ uncomplaining types are actually a majority in today’s world – a usually silent, stuck-in-denial majority that have an unhelpful habit of acting like ‘sheeple’, and being so easy to manipulate by the media because they actually want to retain the status quo, even when it’s just so bad and painful.

So as long as the media is giving them some version of ‘go back to sleep, everything will go back to normal if you just do [X] or think [Y],’ they tend to swallow that down uncritically, without thinking about it, because it’s exactly what they want to hear.

====

EARTH doesn’t move a lot, or very often.

But when it does – man, it’s dramatic!

The whole landscape can literally change in a second, and structures that seemed to be permanent features can crumble to dust in an instant.

That’s the part of the story we are starting to ease into, now, because the human soul is just a reflection of the physical world, and vice-versa.

The last few days, I’ve noticed a few of the people in my dalet amot with strong EARTH tendencies are starting to shift their ideas quite dramatically.

Slowly, slowly, it’s dawning on them that some of the stuff they read on this blog, and elsewhere is actually not ‘conspiracy theory’, but truth.

And that realisation is bringing up a whole bunch of repressed emotions that they’ve been shoving down all their long lives.

Like anger. And panic. And depression.

It’s not pleasant, but that’s the way it has to be, as all the lies and bad middot start to get cleared out of every single one of us, ahead of geula taking off and Moshiach being revealed.

====

And while that’s all going on, the EARTH itself is really starting to move.

The New Madric Seismic Zone in the US – scene of the biggest quakes in US history, almost exactly 200 years ago – have had thousands of weird fires and unusual swarms of quakes the last few days.

Here in the Middle East, Israel, Syria and Lebanon have been hit by hundreds of fires again – very similar to what happened when they first put Rav Berland away in prison, on false charges, back in November 2016.

Then, the Israeli government rushed to say it was a ‘fire intifada’ by the Palestinians.

They were lying.

====

Today, they are again claiming it’s a mix of hot weather plus Palestinian Arson.

But last time I checked, Palestinians don’t set fires in Syria and Lebanon…

(BTW, none of the Israeli media sites are covering the Syrian / Lebanon fires – that would spoil their propaganda narrative, and suggest to the viewer that something is going on, that is beyond the control of the billionaire oligarchs that own these papers. This video comes from Chinese media…)

====

As I’ve written about so many times, Israel and the Middle East is actually one of the seismically-active zones in the world.

Just the last 200 years or so, it’s been unusually quiet.

Same as in America.

But all that is about to change.

EARTH is moving – in a big way! – and the fires are just the first signs of that.

And it’s all connected to persecution of the haredim, and of Jews and Judaism generally, and of course, that all started back with Rabbi Eliezer Berland.

====

Until the people who slagged off and slandered Rav Berland, and the people who so eagerly believed them, especially in the so-called frum community, makes some sincere teshuva, we are going to be stuck in this awkward space of waiting for geula, while the lockdowns, and anti-semitism, and strange earth phenomena continue to ramp up.

It’s all connected.

So, here is a plea to all those big-mouth bloggers, and commentators, and Facebook posters who believed all the media lies about Rabbi Berland back in 2016, and again, in November 2019 – right when COVID-1984 was gearing up to wreak devastation on the world:

Make teshuva, and get us all out of this mess.

====

Most of us are not journalists taking the billionaire oligarchs’ dime to write poisonous anti-semitic propaganda. (Thank God).

But many of us DID believe all those lies about the Rav, and even spread them about, and even added to them, when the MSM was spoon-feeding it all to us.

Back then, we didn’t know better.

We didn’t know that billionaire Seth Klarman (partner with the Rothschild Foundation in the $60 million ‘personalised medicine’ venture in the State of Israel) owned the Times of Israel.

We hadn’t guessed, how many bent billionaires with vested interests were totally controlling our media and our institutions.

But now, we do.

And now, it’s time to make some sincere teshuva.

Because the EARTH is getting ready to move.

====

 

The yeoush is pretty heavy right now.

Here in Israel, they are in the second week of another politically-induced lockdown, and everyone is starting to crack.

I’m also approaching the end of two weeks of politically-motivated ‘bidud’, or total isolation, after returning from the Ukraine, where I can’t leave my house.

Me, my husband and my kids have been together non-stop for approaching 6 weeks.

It’s a huge test of everyone’s middot.

And sometimes, I’m failing it.

====

But today, I woke up and got out of bed before 7am, because I am not going to let them depress me and demoralise me any more.

That’s what they want.

Because depressed, demoralised people become ‘sheeple’, who can be so easily manipulated by fear and threat, because they’ve given up on themselves, and they no longer have the energy to resist, at least mentally and spiritually.

Yesterday I realised something very important:

My soul is so much bigger than all of this.

It’s so much bigger than lockdowns, and New World Orders, and corrupt, psychopath billionaires, and biotech.

It’s so much bigger than all of this evil.

And so is yours.

====

When we connect our souls back to God, and bind ourselves to the true tzaddikim, we are unstoppable.

Nothing can stand in the way of God, nothing.

And God is only good.

And so, the good is going to win out.

It may take another week, another month, another year, (God forbid!) – but the good is going to win out.

And they know it.

That’s why they were in such a rush to shove Rav Berland in prison on totally false charges, to try to ‘remove’ the head of the movement for peace, emuna, and good in the world.

But it’s not going to work.

====

The Rav will get out soon, as soon as we reach a tipping point of people who realise how the same billionaire-bought media, and the same billionaire-run State of Israel, that has global ambitions to force ‘biotech’ down everyone’s throats and turn us into enslaved robots (or kill us….) used exactly the same deceit and lies to frame the Rav.

The same modus operandi that is being used with COVID-1984 was used to frame Rav Berland.

When more people acknowledge that, and make some sincere teshuva, all this is going to change in the blink of an eye.

We’re almost at that tipping point, I can feel it in the air.

So don’t give up!

That’s exactly what they want.

====

UPDATE:

You know all this ‘peace in the Middle East’ stuff is also manipulated baloney with an economic / exploitation agenda behind it, too, don’t you?

There’s so many plates spinning in the State of Israel right now, it’s hard to keep track of everything that’s going on. But this short 2 minute video is extremely useful in understanding WHY money – and especially privately-produced-debt-as-‘money’ – really is the root of all evil in the world.

====

When more of us overcome our own tavot mamon, this picture is going to change radically. The people who are oppressing us with COVID-1984 lockdowns, and terrorism, and never ending wars – and all the rest – only have power because we give them that power.

And the key way to removing their power is to stop worrying about, and lusting after, having more money, or ‘financial security’.

God is providing us, and He doesn’t need shekels, dollars, euros or pounds to do that.

BH, I will flesh this idea out much more soon.

====

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It’s hard to follow that advice when you’re a visible Jew in the middle of the Ukraine…

There’s a popular ‘theme’ that’s taken TikTok – and other social media – by storm, which involves people doing suspicious things, all the while muttering ‘don’t be suspicious, don’t be suspicious’ to themselves.

Every now and then, my kids have shown me a take on the ‘don’t be suspicious’ theme that particularly tickled them, like a dog running down the road while ‘don’t be suspicious’ plays in the background’ or people walking funny; or doing ‘suspicious’ things like painting their sister’s bedroom walls deep black.

Yesterday, Baruch Hashem, we got back from almost a month in the Ukraine, and if I had to pick a theme for our trip there, it would be: don’t be suspicious.

That’s pretty much what I was telling my kids ten times a day, as tried to make the best of our 3 ½ week odyssey in Uman.

====

Bits of the story you got from the blog, but it was only when I finally got home late last night – and promptly had a small but significant nose bleed – that I started to realise just how stressful the last few weeks really were.

You should know something about me:

I hate breaking the rules.

Maybe it’s a throwback to being raised in anally-retented Britain, but unless I have a very powerful reason to not obey a rule, I will do what I’m told. So it is, that I’m one of those rare people in Israel who will pay everything I officially owe on my taxes; and who won’t illegally dig out a 200 sqm basement for my house; and who won’t claim benefits I’m not owed, or try to board buses or trains without making sure I have a paid ticket.

But the last few weeks, the ‘rules’ have been bent so many times by all these corrupt government and officials all over the world, that even I am finding it hard to abide by them.

====

When I booked my ticket for Uman, on August 26th, 2020, the Ukrainian government had just announced that it was closing its borders to tourists from August 29th, 2020 – thanks to the pressure being applied to it by Netanyahu and Gamzu, ahead of Uman, Rosh Hashana 5781.

It took me and my family the best part of a day to run through airports in Israel, France and Portugal before finally making it to Kiev in the wee hours of August 28th – almost a full day ahead of when the airports were meant to officially close to tourists.

In other words, I was travelling totally legally.

But the State of Israel pressured Ukraine to close its borders illegally to religious Jewish pilgrims on their way to Uman for Rosh Hashana, 24 hours before Ukrainian law said they were to close.

And so, when I landed in Zhuliany Airport, my and my family were treated like criminals by the Ukrainian border guards.

====

We watched one non-Jewish, non-religious tourist after another get released before us.

We were left until last, and the border guards forced us to sign an illegal deportation order – in Ukrainian – without telling us what it said, then they told us that our ‘free’ flight back to Israel would be at 10am that same morning, Friday, August 28th, 2020.

They totally lied.

Around 9am, after we’d already been waiting in the closed business lounge of Zhuliany for 4 hours, and still no information about our ‘flight back’ to Israel, I went to find out what was going on.

Wait until 10am, I will have more information for you, is what I was told.

At 10am, I found that the ‘information’ was that the border guards ended their shift at 10am, so then we would become someone else’s problem to deal with.

At that stage, I started to panic, and them me and my kids started calling everyone we could think of, to help us out of a situation that we did not create, and did not expect, but which was 100% the fault of the anti-semitic State of Israel.

====

Over the next couple of hours, we tried all the people you are meant to try, when you’re ‘in trouble’ abroad.

The message we got back from the Israeli embassy in Ukraine is that we were totally on our own, with no sympathy from them, and that’s what you get when you try to get to Uman for Rosh Hashana when the State of Israel doesn’t want you to go.

Initially, Chabad in Kiev also wasn’t prepared to help us at all, and we even got a message from Uman that the Rav there also couldn’t do anything for us.

====

Never mind, that we’d been detained by the Ukrainian government illegally.

Never mind, it was Shabbat in eight hours and we didn’t have ANYTHING we could eat in the airport. Never mind, that the Ukrainian guards were becoming increasingly nasty to us, culminating in taking us out in a bus to the middle of the airfield, where 7-8 armed guards basically laughed at us, while a Rottweiler was set loose to circle the bus and keep us inside, mamash like those films you see from the shoah.

One of my teens secretly filmed that sadistic episode.

It’s only when one of my kids got in touch with a friend back in Israel who has some serious protektzia and sent her that ‘holocaust clip’ that things started to move, a little. That’s when we got a call from the Israeli consul that they’d arranged for Chabad Kiev to bring us some food for Shabbat, if we would order it from a local kosher restaurant and pay for it ourselves.

====

In the meantime, I found out there were no direct flights to Israel from that airport, ever.

I also found out that the next indirect flight out to Israel was departing via Minsk, Belarus, on Sunday afternoon – almost 72 hours later.

My heart sank.

But I still bought the tickets, because at least then I knew I could get out of the airport then.

In the meantime, friends back in Israel were galvanizing other more sympathetic and helpful members of Chabad, Kiev; and unbeknownst to me, my husband was also making a powerful public case for the 120 pilgrims who had been similarly trapped by the State of Israel’s dirty tricks in Kiev’s other main airport, Borispol.

20 minutes before Shabbat, some massive miracle happened and we were summarily given permission to leave Zhuliany.

In the taxi that took us to the kosher hotel in Kiev, after 2 days of trying to keep it all together, the tears finally welled up, and I cried for a good 10 minutes.

Even though I really did know that God was behind everything, and even though I was really trying to have emuna, and to believe that everything was going to turn around for the best, it was still a very traumatic experience.

====

Over Shabbat, I had a full and frank discussion with my family about whether we should just go home on Sunday, as planned, or now continue on to Uman.

In the end, we decided that staying together as a family was the over-riding consideration, so with a heavy heart, I continued on to Uman – at 3am in the morning, to try and avoid the roadblocks we’d heard a rumor the mayor of Uman was threatening to set up around the town.

Honestly?

I was also really scared to go anywhere near a Ukrainian airport again.

And on top of that, the State of Israel was issuing one threat after another about forcing people who went to Uman into ‘Corona Motels’ as soon as they landed back in the Aretz, and forcing them to have triple nasal swabs, and forcing them to have a number tattoo’d on their arm so they’d be easier to track, when they returned…

O, sorry. One of those things I made up.

But it all meant I was in no rush to fly back to Ben Gurion.

====

So anyway, we got Uman, and the whole time I was basically trying to tell my loud, conspicuously Israeli teenagers don’t be suspicious!!!

Don’t speak Hebrew too loudly in the street, don’t draw attention to yourselves, don’t do anything that could get us in any trouble with the Ukrainians!!!

Some hope.

Every time we passed a body of water, I’d have a fight with one of them not to just jump into it fully clothes, like she does back in Israel.

And I’d have a fight with one of them to not barter too rudely with the local vendors and taxi drivers; and not to start cursing the ‘anti-semitic Ukrainians’ too loudly in English, or even in Hebrew, which many of them actually understood pretty well.

Meanwhile, other of my teenage cohorts were off buying massive-bladed hunting knives for their friends back home, while they kept getting stopped by the police asking them if they smoking marijuana and trying to pat them down. They weren’t. Not even a little bit. But they look like they could be.

Let’s just say, I spent a lot of time in the Ukraine clapping my hands, to ‘sweeten the judgments’.

====

Nevertheless, the first two weeks we were there, it was basically OK.

True, we still got suspicious looks from the locals at the market, although some of the Ukrainians were actually pretty friendly, truth be told. It’s hard to dislike people who are spending their money at your stall, although clearly still possible.

We branched out a little, and went to Gan Sofia – the local landscaped Victorian park and lake – a couple of times; and to the Baal Shem Tov and Rav Natan’s graves, another day.

Medzhiboz and the Baal Shem Tov was actually a pretty depressing experience this time around.

My and my husband were outnumbered 3:1 by the Ukrainian workers cementing in ancient fragments of graves around the ohel, and we ended up spending just a scant 30 minutes by the BESHT.

There was something kinda creepy of being in that graveyard alone, with only Ukrainians for company, despite the BESHT’s obvious kedusha.

Rav Natan’s grave was a better experience, at least for me, and I managed to grab hold of my soul for a few moments, amidst all the ongoing worry and fear about the situation.

====

But by the third week, the State of Israel’s propaganda about frum Jews being ‘disease vectors’ for COVID-1984 had gone full throttle, and was being amplified throughout the local press in Uman.

Market vendors made sure to pull their masks way up over their nose, when I approached their stalls to buy potatoes or fruit, now.

Shopkeepers eyed us suspiciously.

Roadblocks appeared at both ends of Pushkina Street, and all of a sudden, the Ukrainian police presence in Uman conspicuously shot through the roof.

Don’t be suspicious, don’t be suspicious…

I kept telling my kids, like a mantra.

====

One of them got me 100% – she was picking up the growing ‘anti-semitic’ vibe herself, and was increasingly desperate to get home.

The other one is just 17, and still retarded. So it was much harder to keep her in ‘low profile’ mode, and not trying to mouth off to the four different types of police officers as she hung out with her new friends on the corner of Pushkina.

There were:

  • The ‘standard’ Ukrainians police, who are there all the time and basically 100% bribable by the locals, so pose no real threat.
  • The ‘VIP’ guards of the kever, appointed by the Breslov committee when they were trying to ‘COVID-1984’ Rabbenu 2000%, to try to persuade the State of Israel to let more pilgrims in, especially those stuck on the border of Belarus. They weren’t really scary, even when they were bundling people out of the kever for the ‘crime’ of standing still to pray mincha, as they were being paid for by Jews.
  • The all-black ‘ninja’ police, who conspicuously carried real blackwood truncheons, and had a bunch of scary looking tattoos and liked to ‘amuse themselves’ by shadow boxing by themselves off down a side alley. I hated walking past those guys, especially at night.
  • The black-with-raspberry-beret police, who stuck me as being paramilitary, and probably unnerved me the most, as they hung out in packs next to the free coffee place on Pushkina.

====

On the flight home, I found out there was a fifth group of ‘yassamnikim’ police from Israel, who are basically Ukrainian-Israelis, and who look VERY scary, with their shaved heads, tattooed biceps and special rucksacks that have the emblems of Ukraine and the State of Israel entwined together.

There were only 3 of them this year, and I have to say that wearing a mask AND A VISOR on the plane home kinda dulled their ‘hard man’ status, at least for me, but on the streets of Uman, they were probably still imposing.

====

So, with all that police muscle walking around, I spent at least an hour every single day drumming into my family’s head: don’t be suspicious! Don’t be suspicious!

But honestly?

A Jew in galut is always ‘suspicious’ to the locals, and can never really feel as though they are ‘home’, even somewhere as holy as Uman.

====

There was so much good that came out of the trip, even though it was so hard in so many ways.

My kids now understand way more what a present we gave them, when we moved to Israel.

As a family unit, we all also learned how to tolerate and appreciate each other more – especially when we’d be stuck in the house for long periods of time, basically feeling too intimidated to really go out anywhere.

Now I’m back in Israel in the middle of Jerusalem, in the middle of another deceitful lockdown, in the middle of an enforced two week quarantine where I am forbidden from leaving my house, I’m sure that experience will come in handy.

Also, the second day of Rosh Hashana just felt really light and happy, in Uman, as though the decrees all got sweetened.

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There’s always so much I can write about Uman, especially this trip, especially this year, but I think I’ll stop there for now.

By the time Rosh Hashana 5781 started, the ‘snake’ that had been devouring the kedusha at Rabbenu’s tomb had been totally dismantled, and most people had ditched their masks, most of the time.

It felt to me as though Rabbenu has dismantled COVID-1984, as I so hoped he would, and that now it’s just a matter of time before ‘COVID-1984’ – and the evil people behind it – also crumbles to nothing in Israel and the rest of the world, too.

If Rav Berland is right, already by Yom Kippur, there should be a strong light at the end of the tunnel.

This lockdown is set to continue until October 9th – the last month of pregnancy.

Between here and November, I think a lot of things are going to happen, BH including the open revelation of Moshiach.

But whatever is on the cards, one thing is clear:

It’s going to be a big year.

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PS: Now I’m back home, and finally starting to decompress from the events of the last month, I hope to be more responsive on my blog, and via email again. Thanks for your patience, dear friends and readers. It’s been a really stressful time.

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As ‘lockdown’ draws closer, I’m feeling that there is nowhere left to run.

Since Pesach, I’ve basically been trying to keep one step ahead of the Corona Fascists, and all their nefarious schemes for using COVID-1984 to impose their controlling agenda on the world.

I hate being controlled.

I hate being policed.

I hate having my basic freedom to walk places, to breathe fresh air, to visit holy sites, to get out in nature, to meet up with friends, to pray – curtailed.

And I’m also pretty scared about the motives and agenda behind all this ‘control’ and false COVID-1984 narrative, which makes it even harder to deal with the day-to-day Corona Fascism.

For the last few months, I’ve been trying to run away from the ‘control’ anyway I can.

But here in Uman, it’s finally starting to dawn on me that I am running out of places to run to.

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The plan today was to try to take a cab to Rabbi Natan’s grave in Breslov, and then to carry on to the Baal Shem Tov in Medzhiboz.

Yesterday, I walked out on Pushkina to try to find a cab. Usually, there are 5 people every square foot, asking me if I want to exchange money or take a cab. Yesterday, there was no-one. Maybe, it had something to do with the group of 4 masked Ukrainian police who have now taken up permanent position on the corner of Pushkina, where you head down into the tomb.

They just strike me (and everyone else…) as menacing, so we’re all kind of staying away from them.

A lot of the taxi guys are working in the black economy, off the books, so I guess they are also being scared off.

Point being, I couldn’t find a cab to order for Medzhiboz.

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This morning, I woke up early to see if I could arrange a cab now instead.

But I found myself kind of stuck to my sheets with a sick feeling that it took me a while to pin down as ‘fear’. I’m scared to leave Uman. I’m scared to leave the sanctuary of Rebbe Nachman. Things are so changeable, I don’t want to find myself somehow trapped outside of Uman (even though we have a rental here now through Rosh Hashana), or having to deal with the Ukrainian authorities again.

So, it looks like I’m not risking going to the BESHT after all.

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After some consideration of why I’m feeling so stressed all the time, I came to realise how much pressure I feel to keep things ‘working’ in my family unit.

Thanks to Corona Fascism, I have spent the last 6-7 months in close proximity to my husband and children, with very little break. Even though as soon as the last lockdown was lifted, I went all over the country to maximise the ‘freedom’ I had – and encouraged my kids to do the same – the idea of being ‘stuck’ with my family, with no escape, is still very hard for me.

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I knew they were going to lockdown in Israel before Rosh Hashana. 

They were threatening that for months, it’s always been part of “the plan”.

And at least in part, the knowledge of that encouraged me to run off here, to Uman, although clearly there was also a big aspect of being ‘pulled’ to Rabbenu, too.

Today, I’m realising that I can’t keep running away from the difficult feelings all this COVID-1984 stuff is bringing up in me.

The last few months, I’ve run away into cooking, I’ve run away into nature, I’ve run away into turning out one book after another and work, I’ve run away into gardening – a million different things.

And here in Uman, it’s finally dawning on me that I can’t keep running. I’m exhausted. I’m tired. I’m overwhelmed. I’m lost.

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Underneath all this, is the knowledge that I find ‘home’ a very difficult place.

‘Home’ for me was always a place I wanted to escape from, and while I’ve done a lot of work on myself since I was married to transform that tendency, so my kids wouldn’t end up as psychos, I can see there is still a stubborn nub of fear of being at home, and of being with my family, that has resisted all efforts to shift it.

At the end of the day, God is the One who is running this COVID-1984 show.

God is the One who is putting me – and all of us – under this tremendous pressure. God has an outcome He is trying to achieve, and end in mind, a goal to reach.

For me, it’s finally making my peace with just ‘being’. ‘Being’ at home. ‘Being’ with my family. Not constantly running to the next distraction, the next escape hatch.

That’s very hard for me to accept.

It’s very hard for me to handle.

But increasingly, I’m seeing that the only way I can really get away from this ‘fear of being’ is to stop running away, and to turn around and face it down.

Holding God’s hand.

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It’s not against COVID-1984, or against corrupt government officials.

The real war to be fought here is against our own bad middot, and especially our tavot mamon.

Ukrainians are notoriously stingy. Like, notoriously. We have been charged by a taxi for wanting to turn the airconditioning on, we’ve been charged extra for towels, extra for toilet paper, extra for taking especially big gulps of air (ok, that last one is a lie.)

Point is, money is definitely what makes the world go round in the Ukraine.

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The landlord we’re renting from here in Uman is actually OK, as Ukrainians go, and has shown me a few kindnesses in the two days I’ve been here. He gave me pegs (for free…) He gave me bin bags (for free…) – but he was careful to tell me that I could only throw the bin bag out when it was totally full. And he’s also careful to let me know when the toilet flush gets stuck, so I don’t waste a grivna of his money on that trickle of unnecessary water.

A grivna is worth approximately half a cent.

And Ukraine is totally awash in water – it’s literally everywhere.

I’m not like this at all, so living in close quarters with such a stingy person is proving quite eye-opening. Not least, it’s showing me how very stressful it is, to have people like that around, always looking over your shoulder and critiquing your spending, like an in-house accountant. And it’s also showing me how much unnecessary pain and suffering all this stinginess and tavot mamon (lust for money) is bringing to the world.

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This morning, our landlord finally managed to rent out the unit next to us.

The group of 8 Israelis who rented it got a really good deal, because our landlord is scared no-one else is coming out to Uman this year.

(He’s wrong, but he doesn’t know that yet.)

Usually, beds like his, in this location, in a reasonable apartment like his, go for at least $500 a head. This morning, he let the group have it for $180 a head, but he made the same condition that he made with us, that no-one else could come round to flat unless they were renting a bed in it.

I understand that condition.

I know it’s coming partially from a stingy place, but I also understand that the temptation to sneak another person in to sleep on a spare bed without paying may prove too strong for many people.

Long story short, the group invited two more people to come eat with them just now who aren’t renting there – and the landlord showed up, and asked them to pay more money.

They refused.

And then, instead of working it out like grown ups, the group of 8 decided to stand on principle and to leave. 

It was 6.30 at night, and their chances of finding somewhere else to sleep or rent right now are pretty small.

And for what? A few extra dollars? Whatever they think they saved, it’s going to cost them way more in hassle and effort.

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This morning in the kever, I opened Rebbe Nachman’s Tales to the story of the Master of Prayer, where the Master of Prayer was taking the people of the Land of Money to task, for devoting their whole life to money.

Retarded people!!! Don’t you understand money is a tool, it’s a means to an end, not an end in and of itself!!! Why waste so much effort, so much energy, trying to conserve a couple of bucks, or trying to squeeze a couple more bucks out of other people?!?

(Clearly, I’m paraphrasing what Rabbenu said here.)

I have seen so many people sour relationships and cause massive emotional damage to others, especially their children and spouses, by making their money, their bank account, their principal priority in life.

Personally, I am at a stage that I literally can’t stand all this stingy ayin hara over money any more.

I can’t stand the people who criticise others for spending a little bit more on their groceries; or for giving some charity to askers who can’t be proven to be 100000% ‘kosher’; or who make it a big ‘mitzvah’ to try to screw prices down so hard (or inflate them so high) it literally hurts.

I can’t stand those people.

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Recently, I read a prayer from the Rav, Rabbi Berland, which set up a clear correlation between the trait of stinginess and the ayin hara. People who have the first invariably have big problems with the second.

And that’s the whole war that we’re fighting right now, to convince all those people living n the Land of Money to finally give up on their false beliefs and destructive ideology.

Money is for spending.

Money is for sharing.

Money is for building the world, not boosting your investment portfolio.

Rebbe Nachman teaches very clearly that before Moshiach comes, anyone who has a lot of money will be totally shamed and disgusted by the money itself.

All those millionaires and billionaires, who could have helped so many people, done so many kindnesses, but preferred to continue to suck everyone else dry, and to take bribes, and to promote the agenda of evil in the world, just so they can have a few more zeros in the bank.

And what about us?

How much are we also stuck in the Land of Money, putting our savings ahead of helping our kids, or inviting guests for Shabbat, or even buying ourselves a new frock for the chag?

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Money as we know it is about to disappear.

That’s why the tests involving money are becoming so sharp.

And that’s why God is checking us so carefully right now, to see how caught up in the lust for money, tavot maimon, we really are.

The more of us can kick free from it, and start to trust more in God and less in our savings and ability to manage money, the easier this next stage will go.

So, I give us all a blessing that we will replace our stingy, ayin hara with a generous ayin tova. That we will want to give to others generously. That we won’t worry about spending what we need to, in order to live and to celebrate Jewish holidays, and give ourselves and our families what we really need.

Because when enough of us get out of the Land of Money, Moshiach will come.

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