Elul is never a ‘neutral’ month.
It’s the last month of the year, the King is in the field, and all the spiritual debts that have been riding the whole of the year fall due.
I’ve had some Eluls that were so bad, I just wanted to crawl under my quilt and come out again for Succot. Every day, some other huge challenge was happening, and I literally couldn’t cope any more. (This was three years’ ago, when the whole world was stuffed to the gills with spiritual judgments. I think everyone I knew had a terrible year that year, one way or another.)
This Elul isn’t like that, thank God, but what it is is really, really exhausting. No matter what time I wake up in the morning, I still feel I don’t have enough time to get ‘everything’ done, and I’m running late.
No matter how early I go to bed at night, I still feel pretty exhausted.
I know enough about basic health stuff to know it’s not food related, exercise related, or even, emotions-related (which with me is usually the biggest culprit). There is something coming into the world – my world – from the outside, slowing me up, and making me feel completely out of it and lethargic.
As I’ve mentioned before, I often get like this just before a big war, or before some big judgment or other starts to manifest itself in the world. So far, it’s so quiet in Israel – so bizarrely quiet, even – that doesn’t appear to be the explanation this time. (But you never know what the lead-in time with these things are…)
So what else could it be? Stress? Nibiru’s gravitational pull playing havoc with the human body? Moshiach?
Really, I have no idea.
But what I can tell you is that it seems like many other people have also been taken out by ‘Elul exhaustion’ the last couple of weeks.
When God’s ready, I’m sure He’ll resolve the mystery. In the meantime, I really do feel like crawling into bed, turning the light off, and waking up again towards the end of October, just in time to put my Succah up.