In every marathon, there comes a point where we ‘hit the wall’.

In running parlance, it’s that moment when you literally feel like you’ve totally run out of energy, and you can’t continue a second longer.

There’s a bunch of technical explanations for why that happens, but basically your standard reserves of energy deplete, and then, unless the body can access it’s deeper resources, you collapse in a puddle, unable to move forward.

As with the body, so with the soul.

Yesterday night, I ‘hit the wall’ spiritually.

God, I can’t continue like this any more, trying to run away from ‘COVID-19’ and the evil police state 24/7…

Not that I haven’t been trying.

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Since all this started kicking off back in February, I’ve been engaged in one long, extended stress response to what’s going on, after another.

I’ve raged and ranted and actively tried to resist = ANGER.

I’ve also run away – about 32 different times – to different spots all across the country, where the rules are a little more relaxed, and I can get away with breathing fresh air and not wearing a face mask = FLIGHT.

I’ve had moments of black despair, where I couldn’t summon the will to even get out of bed (at least, for a couple of hours…) because the picture just looks so bleak, and depressing, and I’ve felt so powerless to change anything = FREEZE.

But the one thing I HAVEN’T done is try to ignore ‘the problem’ – as ginormous as it’s looming – to just try and pretend that it’s business as usual, and everything will be OK. That superficial, everything-is-A-OK sort of BS is a typical FLATTER response, and as you might have noticed, I have very little ‘FLATTER’ in my personality.

But yesterday, I hit the wall on the other 3 stress responses, which means that FLATTER is what I’ve got left to try, going forward.

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In the People Smarts personality system, I spelled out how these 4 stress responses are the often negative ‘flip side’ of some very positive character traits.

ANGER = MOTIVATION, on the positive side.

FLIGHT = CONNECTION

FREEZE = PHILOSOPHICAL THINKING, and

FLATTER = BUILDING.

Building doesn’t just mean that you go out and build a house, or a barn, or a shed. It means all those grounding, nurturing, stabilising activities that are often so very gashmius, but which are nevertheless a crucial part of being able to function in the world without going bonkers.

As you might have noticed, I’ve had very little of that BUILDING stuff going on recently, as I had a massive reaction to lockdown which saw me scuddering off into FLIGHT anyway I can, while I can still move 100 metres beyond my house, without getting ‘permission’ from the corrupt politicians and bureaucrats.

And so, I crashed.

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This morning, I realised I have to make a few big changes to my priorities.

I will still be commenting on current affairs as and when I feel the need, but in terms of unpicking COVID-19 – I’m going to leave that to others for now.

Because while other people can go and look up THE FLEMING FUND, and then can go and read articles about NSO Group’s ‘Pegasus‘ phone spying software (that is definitely on your SmartPhone already, make no mistake, and being used already, regardless of any official ‘legislation’ enabling the ShinBet to do that legally, please don’t fool yourself) – and they can also look up NSO Group’s ‘FLEMING’ technology, and can start to question those CO-IN-CID-ENCES themselves, and join some dots themselves….

No-one else can write One in a Generation #3.

And that’s what is really going to make all the difference here, between the ‘Great Reset’ happening their way, or happening the Moshiach and geula-coming-the-sweet-way, way.

If you have no idea what I’m talking about, watch this, (shmirat eynayim friendly).

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Here’s something else I realised this morning:

I have to take the plunge, and get the Rav’s books printed in Israel.

It’s going to cost a small fortune, but now that the corrupt Israeli police made it next to impossible to raise funds, legitimately, for things like printing the Rav’s books without risking an ‘interview’ with the Shin Bet, what can I do?

The plan is to try to print 100 of each of the Rav’s books, here in Israel, and then see if we can sell them.

My husband is already panicking that we’re going to be tripping over boxes of ‘Advice’ and ‘Miracles’ for the next 12 years – but I’m more optimistic than that.

I know that sooner or later, the penny will drop that getting behind the Rav, and learning his Torah, and spreading his light, is the best – and increasingly only – option we have, for really fighting the forces of evil in the world.

The Rav himself said that getting his books out there is destroying all the tumah and evil in the world, and each time a new book comes out, I see another surprising development occurs very shortly afterwards.

“There is such great dinim and tumah in the world, but my books and my writings, the Torah and the prayers, are cleaning and purifying all the judgments and the tumah from the world.”

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FOR EXAMPLE.

Last week, Rabbi Eliezer Berland’s Advice for Success and Happiness came out on Amazon.

That same day, Jeffrey Epstein came back into the headlines, as all the evil, yukky people connected to him – and this whole massive COVID-19 scam – started to be put back into the spotlight.

Today, Ghislaine Maxwell got arrested.

That is huge.

It’s going to affect everything, I don’t know how, but I just know it will.

So, I’m getting back on with the job of getting the Rav’s books written and printed, and then we’ll just watch all this evil implode by itself, shall we?

Because at this point, I have run out of energy to do anything else.

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1 reply
  1. Daisy
    Daisy says:

    My turn to give you encouragement, Rivka! I think it’s great that you are about to write your third volume, wishing you success.

    By the way I am going through the same things you are going through, in tandem – it must be in the air: I also ran out of energy just today, also read about Ghislaine. Just so much information out there, it’s hard to deal with all of it, making choices about what to write, what’s most important. So for now I don’t post. The main thing is connection to Hashem, and life itself, who knows what tomorrow will bring.

    Shabbat Shalom.

    Reply

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