picture of a man holding a burning newspaper

Gosh, I was really hoping Jan 20, 2017 would mark a big shift in how the world appears to be progressing.

But here we are, a whole 48 hours after Trump’s inauguration, and apparently nothing much has changed.

My husband tells me I lack patience (he tells me that a lot, and he’s definitely right…) but in the meantime, it’s not just 48 hours that I’ve been waiting for God to finally step out on centre stage and show humanity Who’s really the Boss here: it’s 43 years.

I can’t just take any more speculation or theories about ‘what’s going to be’. Everything seems to be ‘fake news’ these days, and I can’t shake the feeling the real stories are mostly going unheard, untold and unreported.

In the past, I spent many years waiting for Moshiach to show up where I mamash put my life on hold. I so don’t want to do that again, but in the meantime, I also feel that I – all of us – are stuck in the plague of darkness, unable to really move forward.

I’m still trying to do things (lots of things, even) , but nothing is really getting there. My husband feels the same way. He has three businesses on the boil, but nothing is really taking off. I have 8 books out there, and two more in the pipes (‘One in a Generation’, about Rav Berland, and ‘The Secret Diary of a Jewish Housewife’, which is a collection of my own personal musings) – but again, nothing is really moving.

Also in other areas, I have made some Herculean efforts to pray on some of the crazy people I have to deal with on a regular basis, and to reach out to them and to try to shift things into a better space. Let’s just say, it really didn’t work.

I can’t seem to make that – or anything else I’m dealing with – change, no matter what I try.

So for now, it seems that I’m back in spiritual limbo until God decides to lift the current ‘plague of darkness’ and let me and my family out of the rut we seem to have been stuck in for a good four years.

Arhghgarhghgh.

I know Moshiach isn’t going to come and solve my problems for me. I know that only having emuna that everything is from God, and that everything is for the best, and that everything is just some sort of ‘lesson’ is going to solve my problems for me, really.

But man, sometimes I just can’t help wishing things would move already.

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