Here I am, live-blogging my COVID-19 induced nervous breakdown….

On Friday, I cracked up.

It was bound to happen sooner or later, because it’s impossible to go through months and months and months of intense stress without something giving.

So on Friday, I fired up the laptop, did the usual trawl-thru of all the cr*ppy fake news websites that are basically just churning out lies and government sponsored propaganda 24/7… and then my eyes went funny.

Not just a little bit funny, full-on funny which made it really hard for me see, and meant I had to go to bed for 8 hours, while my kids cooked Shabbat.

I’ve had this happen 2 times before in my life, each time at the end of a period of extreme and prolonged stress. When it first happened around 12 years ago, it literally took me out for a year, and began my whole process of figuring out how human health and emotions actually fit together, that culminated in Talk to God and Fix Your Health.

The second time it happened, was just after we moved to Jerusalem and everything started falling apart big time, as chronicled (partly….) in The Secret Diary of a Jewish Housewife 1 – Move to the Golden City.

That time, too, it took me a few months to make the teshuva required to get my eyes back to normal, and to deal with the underlying emotional issues and lack of emuna that had basically totally fried my body out.

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This time around, things came much faster.

I stuck some whole red lentils on some key places, including where the eyes are located in the Sujok system on the hand to strengthen my energy; I liberally doused on some lavender essential oils to take the physical stress down; and then I decided I am taking a news fast for hopefully at least the next 2 weeks.

No more heart-attack inducing headlines from ynet; no more upsetting opinion pieces from Jpost, no more fake ‘facts’, misleading statistics or made up quotes from corrupt ‘experts’.

By the time Shabbat came in, I already started feeling much, much better, although honestly, I’m still a bit weak at the moment.

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The other thing I realized I have to work on is having some emuna that God is really behind all this, and accepting His decisions, including that I have to wear the stupid, pointless mask every time I go outside.

I’ve been railing against this so much, as it’s just pure control for control’s own sake, and I feel that deep in my bones.

At the same time… It’s God who is actually deciding that everyone has to wear masks right now, and it’s not even that I don’t have a clue about what this is really all about, because I wrote a whole post about what particular area of teshuva that’s related to.

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So, instead of spending my time fuming and gnashing my teeth, and hating government institutions wholesale, I decided I’m going to spend the next two weeks trying to ‘enjoy’ the situation God has put me in.

And trying to see the good.

And also using this time to work on things that I pushed to the back burner for so many years, like my Secret Diary of a Jewish Housewife series, which are based on the best bits of my blog.

Today, the paperback version of Volume II of the Secret Diary of a Jewish Housewife series went live on Amazon (and I can’t buy it myself still, as I’m in Israel and they aren’t delivering here yet), and the Kindle should be ready middle of the week, BH.

It’s called Questions for God, and it spans my blog for the year 2016 – when I was going through a lot of things that sound like I could be writing about what many of us are experiencing right now, during this whole COVID-19 madness.

Stuff like accepting God’s will wholeheartedly.

Even when it seems to be the very opposite of what you yourself are hoping for, and praying for, and wishing for. And how to deal with teenagers in a real way, that doesn’t negate their budding sense of self, but which also keeps them at least broadly trundling in the right direction down the tracks. And questions about what our true sense of purpose really is, when all the ‘reality’ we knew suddenly disappears and we’re left feeling totally lost in the world…

And a bunch of other stuff, besides.

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The next two weeks, I have plans to also get Secret Diaries Numbers 3, 4 and 5 pulled together and ready to get out too – to bring us up to 2019.

So, keep your eyes peeled for that.

And in the meantime, no news is good news.

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Go HERE to buy Questions for God on Amazon.

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2 replies
  1. Inna Khovov
    Inna Khovov says:

    Rivka, love you and your writing! You have to take care of yourself. We have to survive to see the good side win.

    Reply
  2. Jennifer
    Jennifer says:

    I’m so glad you are taking a break from the news. You have been working so hard! Please take good care of yourself. Wishing you a speedy recovery and renewed strength and happiness!

    Reply

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