So, you remember how I keep getting messages to slow down and stop rushing around all the time?
There’s just one problem: I’m finding it almost impossible to do that. Every week, I have so many things to get done, or deal with, or sort out, across all fronts.
One week, it was sorting out the new parking permit for our car (which if you know Israeli bureaucracy, you’ll know that’s a whole full time job in and of itself). Then, it was sorting out all the books etc that my kid needed when she started her new school, and trying to settle down into the new routine that involved.
Then, my husband’s back went out for a fortnight, which showed me that he actually does a whole lot more useful things around the house (and in our life generally) than I usually give him credit for.
Then, there was the world-wide Tikkun Haklali last week which I so wanted to get to, but in the end I ran out of time and energy, and just ended up saying the Tikkun Haklali on my couch at home.
It was also hodesh irgun, which is this really dumb idea adopted by all Israeli youth groups to have a whole month of activities, culminating in a week where no-one (parents and children both) really sleeps more than two hours a night.
And let’s not even talk about THE BOOK, that was meant to be out two weeks’ ago already, and is still going through iteration after iteration.
My amazing designer had a nervous breakdown last month, leaving me high and dry for a few weeks, with the book 95% done, until I could find someone to finish it off.
Baruch Hashem, I found someone, but then they’re using a different version of the software… and their designer only speaks Hebrew…and their email inexplicably crashed for most of last week, which meant they didn’t get most of my emails, and I wasn’t getting their emails, either.
Long story short, hard as I try to take it easy, God seems to be continuing to pile on the pressure, in all sorts of small, time-consuming ways.
What can I say except: Baruch Hashem!!
I have no idea why I have to wake up at the crack of dawn feeling like I’ve got the next leg of the 3 million mile marathon to run today, but what I can tell you is that there are 2 things that are keeping me within touching distance of sane:
- I simply have no idea how people who don’t keep Shabbat can function in 2015.
- Hitbodedut (personal prayer). I’ve started trying to do a long hitbodedut once a week while I clean some of my house, and it’s pretty much the only time I feel like a calm human being, some weeks.
Clearly, ‘pressure’ is the theme du jour, as even my kids are feeling harassed, and having nervous breakdowns about all the things they have to get done this week.
I know there’s an idea that if it doesn’t kill us, it makes us stronger. That’s a comforting thought once you’re out the other end of the process, but in the meantime I’m just hoping we all get ‘there’ (wherever ‘there’ is) in one piece.