Tag Archive for: Rebbe Nachman

Shana Tova v’metuka!

We are now officially ‘on the other side’ of Rosh Hashana 5784, and it seems to me, there will be a lot more sweetness this year then it currently still appears.

There’s a Breslov custom to do vidui on the eve of Rosh Hashana, at the grave of a real Tzaddik, where you go through as much stuff you can remember from the past year, and try to atone for it, before Rosh Hashana begins.

If you’re in Uman – you do that by Rabbenu.

But here in Jerusalem, a lot of the Rav’s people – the wives and kids and others who didn’t make it out to Uman – go to the grave of Shimon HaTzaddik.


It’s been the minhag for me and my kids to go to Shimon HaTzaddik for a few years now, so Friday morning, we all piled in the car and headed out to Sheikh Jarrah.

Rav Natan Sternhertz, Rebbe Nachman’s main student, actually wrote a book where he set out many of the ‘sins’, alphabetically, to go through.

A lot of that book is geared more towards men, but it’s still a great ‘jumping off’ point, and I find every year that God draws my attention to some other part of the text, where I suddenly remember what a cack job I did in that area, the last 12 months.


In previous years, some of my kids have been more, and less, into doing vidui at Shimon HaTzaddik.

One year, one of them even skipped it, and that led to yet more ‘avodat hamiddot’ for me, right before Chag, to try not to judge them to harshly, or feel aggrieved and upset about them exercising their God-given right to free choice.

It’s their life, after all, and they will have to abide by the consequences of their decisions.

But this year, I have to say it was a very uplifting, emotional experience for all of us.

By the end, all of us were crying a bit, realising just how flawed we actually are, and how much patience and love and compassion God continues to show us, year after year, when He gives us yet another chance to do a bit better, and to fix a bit more.


Then the Rosh Hashana whirl-wind descended.

I was having the family of one of my kid’s friends come stay for two days, while the father was also in Uman.

They have a sweet 9 year with Downs Syndrome – and he needs a lot of love and attention.

Let me just pause now, and salute all those parents with Downs kids, and kids with autism, and all the other conditions that require so much constant care and attention from the parents.

By the end of chag, I was so impressed with the mother – and also the rest of the family – and very humbled by the amount of grumbling and whining I’ve done done the years about my own parenting pressures.

But the kid, the naughty, sweet kid, brought so much light into the home over the chag.

It’s hard to describe this properly, but if you’ve ever spent time with a child with Downs in a relaxed environment, I’m sure you know what I’m talking about.


So on the one hand, I went into chag totally consumed by ‘here and now’ issues of making sure beds were made, and food was ready, and cakes were made.

(Boy, were cakes ever made. We were six adult women in the end, and everyone made at least two cakes…. It was the ‘sweetest’ Rosh Hashana I ever had.)

And on the other hand, I went into chag feeling pretty sad that the Rav hadn’t got to Uman, and that there is talk of wars and big earthquakes hitting Eretz Yisrael – I will give more details of this when I get the Rav’s actual words to read, and then BH I will translate what was said.


Miraculously, I got ready in time for someone to drop me off at the Rav, on Ido HaNavi, for Friday night.

I hadn’t expected to go, so it made things even more of a ‘rush’ than usual, and the first five minutes, I have to admit I just felt a lot of sadness.

It felt like the ‘bad’ had won out, yet again.

But then I clapped a bit with the Rav… sang a big…. jumped a bit with the crowd of mostly women and very, very few men there.

And I started to cheer up.

The Rav himself looked radiant – mamash like he hadn’t just spent the last week travelling all over Eastern Europe, trying to pass through the border to Ukraine – and the vibe in the crowd was actually very joyful.

Some calm descended inside my turbulent soul, and I went back home in a much better mood than I came out.

God is deciding all this,  I reminded myself.

And God is doing everything for the best – including for the very best for Am Yisrael.


Before Chag, I’d had a chat with my husband.

He went to Uman via Kerestir, in Hungary, and then the Baal Shem Tov – and he was travelling more than 32 hours, before he actually got there.

After what happened with the foot, the leg, the back, last year, we were both pretty nervous ahead of time that all the travelling could cause more problems, God forbid.

But he told me, he was doing fine, thank God, and that Uman was the busiest he’d ever seen it.

(Official figures say 47,000 men got to Uman this year…. and it’s probably still underestimating the total by a lot. Crazy – in a very good way.)


Meanwhile, all the usual cr*ppy disinformation sites – including Daniel Amram’s Telegram channel, which I’ve come to the conclusion has turned into more ‘controlled opposition’ at this point – were running scare stories trying to make it sound like something awful was going on in Uman.

There are huge tailbacks at the borders!!!!

(Obviously, these people never shopped at Rami Levi, if they think that’s news.)

There are huge amounts of trash being left on the pavements in Uman!!!

(Like you’d get at any venue or ‘festival’ when tens of thousands of people are there – and that’s the excuse the Ukrainians use for squeezing a ‘tourist tax’ out of every visitor to Uman on Rosh Hashanah….)

A Ukrainian policeman is beating up Jews with a baton, for breaking the curfew!!!!

(And here? Why, policemen beat up Jews with batons all the time – and they don’t even need a pretext.)

But the bottom line is this:

Uman was awesome this year.


All the travellers’ mesirut nefesh, time, effort and money is fixing things for all of us.


Back in Jerusalem, I went back to the prayers on Ido HaNavi Shabbat morning, when there was no shofar to hear in any case, so it didn’t matter that I was sitting outside, half-way up some crowded alley.

I did my Shmoneh Esrei…. I did my Mussaf…. and the prayers really spoke to me this  year.

There was so much stuff in there about the ‘fake malchut‘ hatching conspiracies to destroy the Jews and entice them to serve idols, to tear them away from God.

But how in the end, God’s dominion will be clearly and openly revealed, and the kavod of Hashem will spread out to all corners of the earth… 

It gave me so much chizzuk.


In the meantime, the ‘quiet space’ that I’d tried to carve out for myself to recite Mussaf turned into another test of middot.

Five seconds after I started praying,  a woman with an enormous stroller and five small kids showed up, and arranged her kids’ little plastic chairs in a semi-circle with me in the middle of it.

“And so, instill Your awe, O Hashem our God, within all Your works…”

(Duvey, give Chana the Bamba. Duvey! Come back and give Chana her Bamba!!)

“And so, grant honor, O Hashem, to Your people…”

(Ima, I really need the bathroom….Can you wait a little, chamood?….No, Ima, I need NOW!!!)

“Holy are You, and awesome is Your name.”

(At this point, one of the kids steals the small fold-up chair I’d brought with me to sit on, and I had a massive battle with myself to carry on talking to God, doing the Mussaf of Rosh Hashana, and not just dropping everything to chase my chair down the street.)

“You have chosen us from all the peoples…”

(Does this belong to anyone? Does this jar belong to anyone?) – from the corner of my eye, I could see it was my jar of kombucha, that I’d brought with me from home. Some toddler had ‘found it’ where I’d stashed it under my now missing chair, while I prayed.)



I decided to just try and ignore everything and everyone, and to accept God’s dominion in my life, at least for the next few minutes.

If God wants me to have the chair, I’ll have it.

If He wants me to drink kombucha before the long walk home, I’ll drink it.

If He wants me to keep getting bashed by strollers, my feet trod on by small kids, and continually elbowed by a teen praying and swaying so enthusiastically she doesn’t even feel what’s going on here – fine by me!

When I was done, I found my chair two feet away, and the kombucha had survived it’s mugging as well.


On the way back home, I was pondering on why the prayers at the Rav so often hit buttons that can lead to some very bad middot surfacing.

But it came to me pretty fast, that this is the whole work to do down here.

We can’t ‘disconnect’ our prayers on Rosh Hashana from our real experiences and reactions as people.

And at the Rav, the two things go firmly hand-in-hand, giving you a clear picture of where you are really holding.


The next day, I went to hear the shofar blowing at the Sephardi shul up the road.

It was much ‘calmer’ – but in many ways, a little ucky.

One of the main old guys singing the prayers in turn lives with a xtian Phillipino woman, and has a child with her.

He dresses chareidi, but doesn’t keep Shabbat or kosher….

I had a real fight on my hands the whole time, to not keep judging him harshly for being a disgusting hypocrite.

As soon as I heard the Shofar (enough….) I got out of there and came back home, before the urge to ‘judge harshly’ totally overwhelmed me.


After Chag, my husband told me he’d had the best Rosh Hashana ever, over there in Uman.

I felt the same way, about my Rosh Hashana in Jerusalem.

In my home, where it really counts, there were no arguments this year, no ‘tension’, no eruptions, no harsh words.

And my house was literally packed to the rafters with people (and cake….)

BH, all of Am Yisrael will have a good 5784.

And all the ‘evils’ plans to harm the good people of the world will unravel, and come to naught.

Emunat Tzaddikim in action.

You can clearly see, how when we follow true tzaddikim, and do our best to fulfill their requests, very harsh judgements in the world are sweetened.

At least, for us.

Snippet, but highly advise you go and read the whole thing, to put more of the pieces together in the right place:

The Power of the Prayer of the Multitude and Fulfilling the Words of the Tzaddik Sweetens the Decrees

Behold, amazingly, just 12 days have passed since the call of our Rebbe Rav Berland shlit”a for the operation of saying 100,000 Tikkun HaKlali’s, and just a few days after the operation was publicized on the Breslov hotlines and people began to register, the operation gathered greater strength and momentum in Israel and the world.  40,000 Tikkun HaKlali’s have already been said, and suddenly the Rav shlit”a gave over these holy words, saying:

“It is written in Pirkey D’Rabbi Eliezer, chapter 28, that in another 189 years, until [the year] 5972, 28 years before the end of the 6th millennium – there will not be any disasters here.


“Because he who said that we stand before a new disaster – there will be no disaster here.

“What happened in Turkey isn’t relevant to us.  This isn’t relevant to the Land of Israel, not relevant to Jerusalem – Jerusalem is shielded.

“The kings of the world did not believe, nor did any of the world’s inhabitants, that an oppressor and enemy would come to the gates of Jerusalem” (Eicha 4:12) – there is no threat to Jerusalem and no threat to the Land of Israel, and it’s not necessary to say 100,000 Tikkun HaKlali’s.

“It’s enough to say one Tikkun HaKlali a day.  Someone who wants to can say 2, 3, not more than 3.  One doesn’t need to say more than 3 Tikkun HaKlali’s.

“There won’t be any disaster, and in the merit of the dancing, like in the exodus from Egypt, through dancing [there was the redemption, so too] there will be the complete redemption, speedily in our days, Amen.”



That Turkish earthquake was *headed for* Jerusalem.

My dead mother-in-law told me that clearly, twice, weeks before it hit.

But, it all got ‘sweetened’ by our tefillot and emunat tzaddikim – and the Rav’s self-sacrifice, because he’s been seriously unwell again the last few days. BH,  now he is recovering again.


That article also explains more that we need to move out of ‘sadness and depression’ – urgently! – and move into more internal simcha, by dancing and clapping hands.

Here’s four minutes of Rabbenu trance to get you started:


All this IS going to turn around, very soon.

There is no despair in the world.


You might also like this Rabbenu song:


And you might also like this article:

It’s a really funny time right now, isn’t it?

Not funny haha, funny weird.

I’m seeing that many people, including yours truly, are not really in such a talking mood at the moment.

And I know a lot of people are ‘under the weather’ at the moment (when they aren’t dropping dead of heart-attacks aged 24 because they tackled someone ‘too hard’ in a professional American football game. Yah right… name one other occasion when that ever happened. There has to be at least one other occasion in the history of the AFL where someone got a ‘heart attack’ from tackling too hard. Doesn’t there?)

So much uncertainty, so much doubt, so much to worry about….

(If you  have your eyes open. If you don’t – then so many more anti-depressant pills to buy, and anti-anxiety medication to source, and mental health facilities to check out for when the dam finally bursts and you go totally cuckoo.)


In the meantime – I am doing my darndest to actually stay upbeat and happy here!

Because life is still so good!

It’s still so good!

I don’t live on the pavement, I can breathe, I can walk around, I have people around me I love and who (hopefully…) love me, I love nearly all the things I spend my time doing.

Whatever circumstance I find myself in, whatever is going on in my life, I can ALWAYS chose to use those circumstances to get closer to God and to make some real teshuva.

Or the opposite, God forbid.


But you know what?

So much of what takes the ‘blahs’ away, at least for me and my family, revolves around doing things like saying Tikkun HaKlalis, trying to get to the Rav frequently to join in with the prayers and jump up and down and clap for an hour, and doing an hour of hitbodedut and making a HUGE effort to actually follow the practical advice of Rebbe Nachman, and of Rav Eliezer Berland.

If I feel down – I do some hitbodedut to find out what’s troubling me, I dance for half an hour to things like this:


I try to make some real teshuva, I stop listening to the evil propaganda news, I stop reading the evil propaganda news sites, I look to see how I can improve things in my own dalet amot, instead of hanging on every word and interview from deeply compromised puppet-politicians.

And did I mention, I also read a lot of Tikkun Haklalis and sometimes pay some pidyonot too?

This, very simply, is what I’m doing to get through all this ‘weird’ and ‘heavy’ in relatively happy shape, without driving myself or my family totally nuts with doom-or-gloom scenarios, but also without going so deep in denial I lose all connection with the current reality.


When things work, I like to share them with you, dear reader, so here’s something else I recently discovered that works really well, to kind of ‘sonic clean’ so much of the stress and depression vibes out of the house:

It’s the Rav, reciting the 10 Psalms of the Tikkun Haklali, or general remedy, as set out by Rebbe Nachman.

You can get the audio HERE, (it’s a Dropbox link).

I have it on CD, and I have literally started playing it for three times a day, to ‘sonic clean’ the house from all the miserable, ‘down’, worry tumah vibes floating around.


A word of caution: this doesn’t sound ‘melodious’.

The first few times I listened to it, it was actually pretty jarring.

Now I’ve done a lot more work with my tuning forks, I can see that dafka, it’s the tones that sometimes sound a little uncomfortable to us that are actually doing some of the deepest ‘cleaning’ work, so if you can, persevere.


So many people are feeling like life is totally pointless at the moment.

What’s the point of carrying on, when it’s all just going to hell in a hand basket….



Totally wrong.

There is still absolutely everything to pray for, and THERE IS NO YEOUSH IN THE WORLD.

Whatever God decides to do, going forward, that’s totally up to Him.

But in the meantime, don’t lose sight of the fact that EVERY LITTLE THING YOU DO IS MEANINGFUL.

Both for the good, and for the bad, God forbid.


Even the smallest hirhur of teshuva – do you know what a massive difference that is making, not least to your own soul and connection to Hashem?

Even the smallest effort, to stop complaining and to see the good, in the middle of the darkest circumstances – do you know what a huge difference that is really making, at least to your own frame of mind and mood?

Do you understand that Hashem stops everything, just to listen to those two words of heartfelt prayer that you are struggling to get out?

That when you make that enormous effort to stop wasting your life watching Netflicks, it starts tipping the whole balance in the world more to the side of ‘good’?

Then when you say a kind word to your spouse you are rectifying all 1o of the sefirot?

That spending half an hour reading a story to your child, or kicking a ball around, or baking some cookies with them, is literally building a whole world?


I know it’s hard to keep hanging on to God, and to emuna, even though it all seems so crazy and pointless at the moment, but really, what other choice do we have?

If we don’t do that – it’s game over already.

At least for us.

At least, in all the ways that really count.


Tachlis, the best advice I can give right now for staying upbeat and not getting submerged in all the ‘yeoush’ sloshing around all over the place is this:

  • Get off social media as much as possible – it’s totally infested with negative people who just suck you dry, emotionally, and videos and video ‘shorts’ that waste all your time and energy on total narishkeit.
  • Stop wasting your time on propaganda news sites – of course that’s the MSM, but also so many of the alternative news sites are also causing a lot of yeoush at the moment, with their doom-and-gloom scenarios that give zero credence to the power of prayer and teshuva to turn everything around. We’re with the true tzaddikim – the Moshe Rabbenu of our generation – we don’t have to worry about the 10 plagues smashing down all over the place, as long as we stick with the True Tzaddikim, and keep following their advice.
  • As soon as you start to feel ‘yucky’ or downtake action! Play the Rav’s Tikkun Haklali, dance to some Breslov trance (or anything else that uplifts you), say a Tikkun Haklali, or three, go to a holy site and do some praying there, sit quietly and talk to God….
  • Don’t listen to anyone who is telling you the situation is terminal – whatever ‘the situation’ happens to be. King David teaches us that even if there is a sharp sword at our necks, we should still cry out to Hashem to save us.
  • Do things that make you happy, calm and ‘filled up’. Have a nice bath. Go for a walk. Find a pencil and sketch something. Make a nice supper…. None of this needs to cost a lot of money – and usually, the stuff you do for free, or the ‘mundane’ stuff is where it’s really at.
  • Understand there are no guarantees that we get ‘another day’ after this one. So make the very most of every minute you have, to live the life you want to life, to do the things you want to do, to make the changes, the teshuva, you are yearning to do, to make people with the people you need to.
  • Accept we aren’t in control. So, make your best effort – and then leave the rest, happily, to God.
  • Be kind to yourself. Yah, we’re all eating ‘franken-chicken’, still addicted to Instagram shorts, worrying way too much about ‘what happens next’, and all the rest of it.

But really?

We just want to serve Hashem.

We are mostly just yearning, with everything we’ve got, to serve Hashem, even though sometimes it’s seems almost impossible to do that.

And God knows that!


The last thing I wanted to mention, is that while this current situation feels kind of like ‘the worst it’s ever been in the history of mankind’ – it’s really not.

I am coming to the conclusion that the forces of evil go all out trying to ‘reset’ the world every century.

And each time, despite all the havoc and destruction they cause, they never manage to really do what they are planning.

It’s literally the Matrix, where it just keeps getting to this crescendo point again and again and again – but then, the evil is stopped in its tracks.

That is going to happen this time, too.

Sure, a bunch of difficult things may happen along the way, but so much of that really is down to us and our own teshuva process, and efforts to have emuna.

Ultimately, this is God’s world, and He is running it in whichever way He sees fit.

Our job is to do our best to stop complaining, to work on our emuna – and to follow the advice of our True Tzaddikim, so we can actually enjoy ourselves as much as possible, and get to the finishing line hopefully in one piece.

Even if that ‘finishing line’ is just our own, as opposed to ‘global geula’.


So, courage, dear readers.

Remember that Jews are above nature, and that there is a ‘Moshe Rabbenu’ in every generation, just waiting to take us out of exile while all the evil gets totally smashed to pieces around us.

So, we are not going to let the buggers get us down!

With God’s help.



So, this will probably be one of my stranger posts.

(There’s a lot of contenders for that title tho….)

Let’s just jump in, shall we?


First, go back and read this post from last year, which I’ve put back up:


And now, let me tell you a weird story that happened in Uman two years ago, and which I didn’t mention before because I didn’t want my readers to think I’m ‘delusional‘.

But hey, too  late for that now, so let’s plough right on!

So, it was the Rosh Hashanah of 5781, when the State of Israel decided no Jews should go to Uman ‘because of Covid’.

Zelensky’s Ukraine closed the gates three weeks before Uman, and my husband the lawyer read the small print on the announcement and saw the exact date the ‘no entry’ would begin. My whole family booked tickets to get there before the close off date.

And then the Ukrainian government lied and said the date had been moved forward 24 hours, while we were in transit to Ukraine from Portugal.

My husband had a seperate flight to Borispol airport, but me and my girls came in, all by ourselves, to Juliani airport – and basically got abused and mentally and emotionally tortured for hours by the Ukrainians, until some miracle happened and we were released 10 minutes before shabbat.

They put us on a bus in the middle of the airfield, with 10 Ukrainian soldiers, and then had a doberman circling the bus so we wouldn’t ‘try to escape’.

Amongst other things.


I got out of that by clapping solidly for an hour.

As per Rabbenu’s advice, on how to sweeten massive harsh judgements.

(I’m ‘delusional’, remember?)


So, we’re in Uman for three weeks, and it was VERY intense.

One day in my hitbodedut, I started thinking about tuning forks. And then, I started thinking about the vibration of music. And then, I got the urge to research it more, and I came across something like this article, which was written back in 2007.


In 1939 Joseph Geobels [sic]( propaganda Minister for nazi Germany)was the first to push for all music world wide to be played and listened to at A-440hz.
He failed.
But in 1953 the Elite had a meeting in london to finally IMPOSE the a-440hz Standard Concert Pitch. And Succeeded.
Prof Dussaut of the Paris conservatory had a poll of over 20,000 of the head classical musicians of france and they all voted unanimously for A-432hz but the Elite does not care what others think now do they?

Chortle chortle!

Crazy conspiracy theorists!


If you go to that link and scroll down, you’ll find a lot of interesting discussions about the difference between 432 hz and 440 hz, and how they may or may not affect human beings, physiologically, emotionally and spiritually.

We won’t get into that right now, but BH, I’d like to cover it in more detail, in a future post.

So, I’m reading how the Nazis tried to ‘change the pitch’ of music…. And how that actually happened in 1953.

And then, I had the crazy idea to go and find a tuning fork somewhere in Uman, so I could change the pitch back.

How was I going to do that?

By banging the tuning fork 18 times off the corner of Rabbenu’s grave, and letting the tzaddik do his his thing.

(Remember, I’m delusional…)


Even for me, this was a stretch.

But I figured I may as well give it a shot, as things were plenty strange enough already, that year in Uman.

I told my husband I had to find a tuning fork, I told our taxi driver, Sergei, and he drove us around looking for one.

There were two music shops in town. One of them told us that ‘some one like you’ (i.e. a Jew) had just come in and bought their last tuning fork. Which was weird all by itself.

(What?! There are two Jews in Uman trying to buy a tuning fork on the exact same day?!)

But the second one still had a tuning fork – and I bought it for the experiment.


Thank God, it was such a quiet year, that I could find a few minutes when no-one was in there.

I banged the tuning fork off the kever 18 times – then I scarpered.

And since then, I have been thinking that somehow, sound, vibration, frequency, it’s got to be the answer to all this.

Because nothing happens at Rabbenu stam.

And especially not that year, at that time.


So, I came home from Uman, and I got my first delivery of tuning forks from the Biofieldtuning store, HERE.

If you’re interested, you can go and read more about the hard science behind ‘sound affecting humans’ on that site HERE.

Here is a screenshot:


I am still working on trying to figure out more ‘specifics’, as it all relates to disabling the nanotech in the shots, but over the last 2 1/2 years, I’ve been using the forks on myself and my family – and in lots of ways, they get things to move.

Across all three levels of body, mind and soul.

BH, I will write more another time, but the Biofieldtuning site – and McCusick’s two books – are a great place to start learning more for yourself.

But the best way to learn is to do the experiment yourself.

So, to that end, here are some of the free offerings on the Biofieldtuning site, which you can experiment with yourself, and see what you think:

Against viruses (including so-called ‘long covid’:

To release pain:

Hearing issues and tinnitus:

Improving resiliency:

Overcoming overwhelm:


These are all free offerings.

Create an account, download them, and see what you think.
(I’m happy to have your feedback, pro and con, in the comments section…)
I will come back to this again, at some point soon, God willing.
In the meantime, as part of the ongoing process of trying to come up with ‘solutions’ for how to heal from all this GO nanotech and DNA origami clot-and-heartattack-inducing stuff in the shots, a reader also sent me something about:

The Wim Hof Method.

This isn’t shmirat eynayim friendly, but it sums up a lot about Wim Hof, and his cold exposure and breathing method of controlling the body’s autonomic nervous system:


First, the good news:
My correspondent, who suffers from a severe, debilitating illness (that she thinks was the first round of what got tried again, with ‘Covid 19’) initially saw some almost miraculous health results, very fast, when she started following the Wim Hof Method.
Like, oedema disappearing over night…. feeling returning to feet that had been 70% numb for a very long time…
Now, the bad news:

Five weeks on, they started experiencing heart arrthymias and chest pain…. and so did two other people who started doing the Wim Hof Method with them, around the same time.


At this point, I’d only been doing ‘Wim Hof’ for two weeks with my husband.

Again, you can go read up about it yourself, do your own research, be aware that he says don’t do it if you are epileptic, pregnant of have cardiac issues.

My experience of the breathing was that it helped me to identify the ‘inner voice’ that keeps telling me to give and stop, and that I ‘just can’t do it’.

Whatever ‘it’ is.

But otherwise, I didn’t like the breathing part very much at all.

But I TOTALLY LOVED the slow introduction to cold showers, and the whole idea that:


So, I ditched the breathing, but I’m carrying on ‘training’ with the cold showers, and I can now do a minute.

Cold showers are very good for improving the body’s circulation, and after the whole thing with my husband’s foot, I’d come to the conclusion that was something to try, anyway.

And it’s probably also helpful, for trying to get ‘clogged’ blood to start to circulate better again, through a ‘clogged’ body.


You can literally die from cold exposure if you try and jump into ice baths without any real practise or slow lead up to gradually getting accustomed to cold.


I was pondering why the whole ‘breathing’ thing bothers me, and what I got to is this:

The Eastern religions, and especially idolatrous ‘yoga’, have hijacked breathing, and teach their adepts that ‘breathing is in our control’.

In Hebrew, breathing – neshima – is very close to soul – neshama.

We are essentially a lump of clay, that had the life, the breath, the neshama blow into us, by Hashem.

Breath is God’s domain, not ours.

I have come to the conclusion that while it’s totally fine to ‘breathe deeply’ a few times, or in a focussed way, as soon as I start to tell myself ‘I’m in control of the breath’ – that’s where I’m going to hit problems.

God is in charge of the breath.

And the best way to benefit from breathing, is to ask God to ‘breathe me’ properly and appropriately, especially when I’m doing things like hitbodedut.

This is a work in progress, and my view might develop, but so far, this is where I’ve got to.


As always, these are just my personal musings, and some suggestions for things you may or may not find interesting to explore more yourself.

Human health works across all three levels of body, mind and soul.

There is no ‘one thing’ you can do that will heal everything, but the closest you get to a ‘magic bullet’ is doing hitbodedut for an hour a day, because then in your hitbodedut, God will tell you what else you need to do, or try or change.

Do your own research, think for yourself.

And also be aware that there are literally thousands, maybe tens of thousands, of people out there, like me, looking for solutions to how we can heal from all the damage being done by EMF, Covid 19 nanotech and CERN.

We will get to those answers together, with God’s help, at the right time in this process of teshuva and geula.

And whatever they are, they are probably going to be very surprising, so keep an open mind.



I decided to stick some of the more useful old posts back up, periodically, including this one:

BH, my husband’s foot is finally starting to turn the corner.

I’ll probably write more about what big tests we’ve been having over the last two weeks, and all the different stuff we’ve been doing, including on the teshuva front, to try to deal with it all.

Right now, I’m still pre-occupied nursing my husband back to full health, God willing, and trying to regain some of the ‘order’ in my life that feels like it got hit by a hurricane the last two weeks.

Rabbenu front-loaded stuff for us, I have no doubt, so we could make a lot of teshuva and ‘sweeten’ the rest of the year right when the doors of teshuva were open the widest.

For sure, all this will end up only being for the good, but it’s still been a very stressful and tiring process on so many levels.


In the meantime, I had another ‘meaningful dream’ yesterday, and the very short version of it is this:

I was a guest in some family’s massive house for Shabbos – they were Americans, but I didn’t know them – with lots of kids of various ages.

Somehow, I managed to smear paint, or something, all over the expensive furnishings, and I was so embarrassed I ran upstairs to try to hide from all the anger I was expecting to get from the baalat habayit when she saw what I’d done, albeit accidentally.

In the meantime, she found me, and she started telling me, in a very gentle way, that she had a really good idea for how all that paint could get permanently cleaned up, off the furniture.

Just was I was standing there, amazed at her kindness and patience with me, the sky went a really weird colour, and what looked like massive ‘people’ riding on all sorts of massive metal shapes – I think they were currency symbols, like dollars, yen etc – started kind of bobbing down from the sky.

Everyone in that family started yelling:

It’s simanin for Moshiach!!! It’s simanin for geula!!!

It for sure looked very weird, but even in the dream I was still feeling very cynical, and that it’s probably just some sort of hologram, to fool the masses, or something.

Until one of these things actually hit me in the head, and I got told:

See, it IS real!

And then I woke up.


Make of this what you will, but in hitbodedut today, I got the idea to share it.

BH, I am still figuring out what I want to do with the blog going forward, it may continue the way it has been the last few years, or I may take it in a different direction, I still don’t know.

But the priority is to get my husband fit again, with God’s help, so until that’s in the bag, I don’t really have time or inclination to do a lot of writing.


But, let me just remind you that tonight is the yarhtzeit of Rebbe Nachman of Breslov.

The Rav is holding a big gathering, with dancing, around Ido HaNavi, starting around 7pm (remember, all this is Israeli time….)

And there will also be a lot of dancing happening in Rav Shalom Arush’s succah on Shmuel HaNavi St.

But if you can’t make those, light a candle for the Tzaddik, find yourself something yummy to eat, and sit in the sukkah at home and do a bit of singing and dancing, in the zchut of Rabbenu.

Heaven knows, we need that singing and dancing more than ever, this year.


PS: Remember what the Rav said about everyone needing to be out of Ukraine by Simchat Torah?

Looks like this could only be the beginning or things amping up in the country again: