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A couple of days ago, I was having a chat with my friend S.

We were talking about her sudden realisation that there is a ‘parallel universe’ going on in the world, that is not at all soft and fluffy, and that is the very antithesis of everything you and I want for the world, and for ourselves, and for our children and grandchildren.

That’s a terrifying thought.

And most people will quickly shut it down and run away from it – unless they are building the capacity to hold ‘truth’ in their minds and souls via regular talking to God sessions.

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My friend has been doing hitbodedut, on and off, for a while already.

But she said to me:

I don’t get the same sort of ‘messages’ you get from God.

I told her I don’t believe that.

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EVERYONE is getting messages from God all the time, regardless of whether or not they are actually talking to Him every day.

So then we got into a very interesting discussion about what a ‘message from God’ actually is.

My friend asked me to write about it, because she thinks it will help more people out there to take themselves, and their spiritual connection to God, seriously.

So this post is in her zchut.

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Very, very rarely, do I get what most people would think of as a ‘message from God’ in my hitbodedut – i.e. some sort of statement or clearly stated answer to a problem I’m grappling with.

It does happen occasionally, but most of the time, God is actually sending the ‘messages’ via a much simpler route, namely:

Our feelings.

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There has been a war on humanity recognising our true feelings for well over a century.

And probably even longer.

But let’s deal with the most recent bit of this ‘war’ against the part of our soul that goes by the name ruach.

The story starts with the cocaine-using Sigmund Freud.

A lot of the families in Viennese high society were riddled with horrible, unspeakable acts of child abuse and incest.

When Freud started psychoanalysing his patients, a lot of these disturbing memories and stories started to leak out in those sessions.

At some point, Freud realised that if he pursued this line of action – i.e. openly linking people’s mental issues and soul-disfigurement to all the abuse and trauma they’d suffered in childhood – he would be totally shunned in Viennese society and made persona non grata.

So instead, he took the coward’s way out, and sold out abused children for at least the next 60-70 years, by claiming all these ‘memories’ of terrible child abuse and incest by parents were repressed ‘Oedipal’ tendencies.

In other words, he totally and utterly lied.

And he totally and utterly invalidated these children’s traumatic experiences, and memories and even more crucially, their feelings.

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It’s hard for me to not think that Freud himself must have been morally compromised from the start, to have done that.

But I guess we won’t know until Moshiach comes and shows us exactly what’s been going on.

What is beyond a doubt is that the ‘legacy’ of Freudian psychoanalysis has led to some of the worst crimes against humanity being covered up and repressed for well over a hundred years.

It’s a classic ‘gas lighting’ tactic of narcissistic abusers to keep telling their victims that they can’t trust their own memories, their own experiences, their own minds, their own feelings.

And Western society has been built on a paradigm that encourages parents to ‘socialise’ their children out of feeling what they really feel, and out of trusting themselves on a deep soul level.

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Modern society shames people – especially women – for feeling.

It calls us names like ‘over-emotional’, and ‘weak’, and even ‘bi-polar’ and ‘clinically-depressed’ – when really, all these feelings we have, some of which can sometimes be overwhelming and debilitating, are just reactions to things we are experiencing in the world.

Clinically depressed people have ALWAYS had some sort of severe emotional neglect and / or abuse in the past, usually from a parent in a childhood, and especially from a mother.

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Clinical depression is just an extreme form of the FREEZE response to being placed under chronic or acute stress. 

And as such, it’s a perfectly ‘normal’ reaction, albeit not a pleasant or useful one.

No-one’s ‘brain is broken’.

Once people understand that all of their emotional states – even extreme ones – contain messages from God about what they need to deal with, recognise, work on, change or accept, the ’emotional state’ itself gets way, way easier to work with and tame.

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Same with things like ADD – which is just an extreme FLIGHT response to acute or chronic trauma.

Give me any ‘mental health issue’, and I guarantee it’s rooted in some sort of unpleasant experience, or experiences, or fear, or ‘stress’, that the person’s primitive brain is reacting to.

(If you’re interested, I wrote a whole book on how the stress response reacts in different people, called People Smarts, which you can find on Amazon HERE.)

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The point being, that God uses our feelings to communicate some very important messages to us.

For example, so many of my ‘messages’ come from a feeling I have that something is not quite right with a certain picture, or person.

In the past, when my ‘BS-O-Meter’ would start to ping off, I would often just try to ignore it or bury it. I’d been socialised by society to keep talking to creeps and yucky people even when they were making me uncomfortable.

That put me into some very vulnerable positions, because the ‘difficult characters’ out there quickly recognise when they are dealing with someone who can’t stand up for themselves when they need to – and that’s when life can get very unpleasant, very quickly.

Now, when it dings off, I pay very careful attention to it.

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In my hitbodedut, I’ll go back in and I’ll try to figure out why a certain something, a certain someone, is making me feel stressed, unhappy, nervous, angry, on edge – whatever it might be.

I can’t always pin it down – and it’s not always the other person’s problem, either, sometimes they are just triggering something that is entirely my issue to deal with.

But the point is, that God is sending me that ‘feeling’ as part of a message that needs to be decoded and analysed.

Once I learned to start respecting my own feelings, and to give them the ‘space’ they needed for me to really know what it was I was actually feeling, my extreme mood swings pretty much disappeared overnight.

Now, I have no problem standing up for myself against all the creepy, yucky people out there, and as a result, my life is way less complicated and much, much happier than it used to be.

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But ‘feeling’ messages can also work in a positive way, too.

When I didn’t know anything about the Rav, Rabbi Berland, for example, my starting point was a feeling that something was ‘off’ in all the reporting about him.

I couldn’t put my finger on it exactly, but it just didn’t feel right.

That’s when I started doing my own research to see what was really going on, and that’s when I started to unpick the whole, sordid story of how the Rav had been framed by the same evil people who are now pulling the ‘COVID-19’ con trick on us all, via the media.

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But even when I had a bunch of information that seemed to show the Rav was totally innocent of any of the charges that had been fabricated against him, I still took a few months to really work through what my soul was telling me about him.

When I thought about the Rav, what was the feeling I got?

Calm and happy, or uneasy and anxious?

Time and time again, when I explored my real feelings in hitbodedut, I got the ‘calm and happy’ vibe back.

That’s what gave me the courage to cautiously approach the Rav more, and to risk being more part of his community.

But even then, anytime I got even a whiff of the BS-O-Meter going off, I stopped to explore it in my hitbodedut, and to work out the messages that God was trying to give me.

Not everyone around a True Tzaddik is a true tzaddik themselves, and yucky people automatically gravitate to positions where they can have a ‘presumption of innocence’ and trust.

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Thank God, really, for all the persecution of Shuvu Banim and the Rav.

Because it smoked out so very many of the ‘yucky’ people, who quickly peeled off and went somewhere else, where they didn’t have the whole world poking holes in their cover stories and actively seeking out their misdeeds and bad middot.

The people who are left are, for the most part, some of the best people in the world.

They are people who have been constantly humiliated and disgraced – and who have continued to stand up for the Rav, and continued to try to do what’s right, even at great personal cost to themselves.

But I digress.

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Most people today have been totally cut off from feeling their own feelings, and owning their own emotions.

We are the ‘Prozac’ generation, who were taught that any feeling that is not fake happy is somehow bad and requires medication.

But all feelings – even ‘bad’ feelings – are actually just messages for us to decode, and clues from Hashem that are being sent to lead us forward in life, somehow.

Feelings are part of the soul level called ruach.

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The soul level associated with the physical body and ‘reptilian brain’ is called the nefesh, or animal soul.

The soul level associated with our mind, higher functioning and connection to God is called the neshama.

And the soul level ‘in between’ these two extremes of ‘animal’ and ‘angel’ is the ruach.

The ruach is the part of the brain that’s actually feeling things.

Then, there’s a fight that goes on between the ‘animal’ brain and the ‘angelic’ brain to frame our feelings correctly.

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When we do hitbodedut regularly – and we try to adopt a more emuna-dik, God-centric approach to life – that strengthens the ‘angel’ brain, and weakens the ‘animal’ brain’s grip on us.

When the ‘angel brain’ is in the driving seat, and ruling over the ‘animal brain’, our extreme emotional states, mood swings and physiological stress responses start to calm down.

BUT ONLY WHEN WE’RE TAKING THE TIME TO ACKNOWLEDGE ANY REAL ‘DANGER’, AND TO NOT JUST PUSH IT UNDER A MENTAL CARPET.

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Let’s use some real-life examples.

If there is a situation or a person that makes you feel very tense – that’s usually a big clue from God that there is ‘something’ there that you are finding threatening or unpleasant.

If you feel wrung-out or down or depleted or ‘missing’ after an interaction, that’s usually a big clue that the other person is sucking way more energy out of you, than they are giving in return. All relationships are give and take, but if you are always the one giving – that’s a problem that needs to be addressed.

For me personally, if I start to feel that someone is trying to manipulate me emotionally with guilt trips or ‘save me’ stories (who aren’t my kids…), I will pull back sharply and put up a barrier.

In the past, I used to feel so bad for other people, I could really get taken advantage of.

Now, when I get that ‘uncomfortable’ feeling in the pit of my stomach, I don’t push it down, I listen to it, and I make a conscious decision whether I still want to engage with the other person, or not. 

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All this stuff is part of the ‘conversation’ I have with God – and of course, with myself.

The last thing I wanted to touch on in this post, is that the concept of da’at, of ‘knowing’, can’t really be translated into words, it has to be experienced.

Sometimes, the da’at you get in hitbodedut, in talking to God, totally transcends even things like ‘feelings’ or ‘thoughts’.

So many times, I find myself knowing something, but without being able to explain how I have that knowledge, or why I know it to be true.

That is also how Hashem gives us messages.

And I think that’s probably the most sublime way, Hashem gives us messages.

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Any one out there can get ‘messages’ from Hashem, starting today.

All that’s required is a bit of patience, a bit of work to reconnect to feelings that may have been in the deep freeze for decades, and a bit of courage to follow the truth and the da’at and the direction you’ll get from shemayim, wherever it might take you.

As the world of lies continues to implode, we will need that strong connection to Hashem to keep going through the darkness, and to discern the real light at the end of the tunnel, when it shows up.

Start small, just five minutes a day.

Or even one minute.

Something.

But also remember that God is talking to us via everyone and everything 24/7, and that we are constantly surrounded by opportunities to get to know Him – and ourselves – better.

Don’t be scared to feel, even if those feelings start off overwhelming and ‘angry’.

They are a part of your ruach – mamash, a part of your soul.

And when you make space for them, and really listen to the messages they contain, you’ll see how fast your life starts to transform for the better, and how quickly your feelings become your best friends.

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If you want me to try to explain more about anything here, or about other aspects of talking to God, let me know in the comments.

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I know, it’s really heavy right now.

It feels like the whole world is holding it’s breath, waiting to see what will be.

Here is Israel, they’ve started the brainwashing that ‘pregnant women also need to be vaccinated’ – I guess that’s part of the next stage of the medical experiment on humans that Netanyahu is piloting on an unsuspecting population.

One of my readers sent me a link to this story, which states clearly that Israel’s Helsinki Committee has found that this Pfizer vaccine roll-out is definitely a medical experiment on humans.

And so, they should have asked permission (at least….) before giving it, never mind trying to make it mandatory.

Legally, that makes what is going on here illegal, according to international law.

But since when did that stop any of these people from doing any of the yucky things they are up to?

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You know what keeps me going?

My hour of daily hitbodedut, where God calms me down, and gives me guidance on what I should really be working on, worrying about, and praying for.

Last week, I got the steer to get on with more of the Rav’s books, after a 5 months hiatus.

Baruch Hashem, just yesterday the latest book in the ‘Prayers’ series came out, and you can now buy it on Amazon (hard copy only, for now) HERE.

That’s good news, and it’s changing the whole picture.

Even if we can’t really see it still, right now.

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Let me cut and paste this here, again, as it’s SO IMPORTANT to understand what’s really going to tip the balance here, between the forces of good and evil:

The Rav’s books and prayers are totally connected to getting geula the sweet way.

Back in May 17, 2020, the Rav contacted one of his senior pupils and asked him to publicize a message in his name that:

“There are such great dinim (harsh judgments) and tumah (spiritual impurity) in the world, but my books and my writings, the Torah and the prayers, are cleaning and purifying all the judgments and the tumah from the world.”

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Armilus and Moshiach ben Yosef are currently fighting it out.

There is no question that ‘Armilus’ – that smarmy, horrible scumbug, who sold us all out for a billion silver pieces in his Panamian bank account – is going to lose.

But, we also don’t want to lose ‘Moshiach ben Yosef’ in the process, God forbid, and so we have to continue to do our part to give the forces of ‘good’ the spiritual koach required to keep going.

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That means saying the Tikkun Haklali regularly, maybe at least once a day.

That means saying the new set of tehillim Rav Berland revealed, as per the infographic below:

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And it also means getting as much of the Rav’s Torah, teachings and prayers around as possible.

So, go HERE to buy the new book of prayers for Shalom Bayit (peace in the home).

And go HERE, if you want to get the rest of the Rav’s books for free – because clearly, this was never about promoting the Rav’s stuff to make some money.

Ha!

That’s the funniest thing I’ve typed in a long time.

I still don’t know if I’ve even covered just the layout costs of maybe three of the books yet…

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All this is just about bringing geula quickly, and the sweetest way possible.

And YOU are a big part of that.

Yes, YOU!

I know, we all feel so insignificant, powerless and helpless right now.

Honestly?

If we aren’t connecting somehow to the Rav, that’s exactly what we are.

But if and when we connect in to the effort being conducted by the Tzaddik HaDor – that’s when all the prayers, all the mitzvahs, all the yearning start to ascend, and to really turn things around for the good.

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S0, yalla.

I can’t see this process getting easier, unless more of us get the message about getting behind the Rav.

And with Biden apparently set to take over the White House tomorrow (barf, barf) – well.

This process could still get even more ‘interesting’.

And who has the koach for that?

No-one.

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PS: With all the ‘hype’ about aliens going into overdrive, I thought you might want to remind yourself why ‘aliens’ don’t exist, and how all the ‘UFO’ sightings are just off-the-record, clandestine projects funded by corrupt spy agencies and the US military, who just took over on the nazi science where the Third Reich left off.

You can read more about all this below:

 

Already more than a month ago, I heard a rumor that Rav Chaim Dovid Stern said that geula had been pushed off again, until Nissan.

You’ll recall that I thought that the 9 months of foreign rule would end on November 9th, 2020 – 9 months after the Rav was first imprisoned by the corrupt State of Israel.

Well, that didn’t happen then….

And it’s still not happening now.

And for a few weeks, I have to admit to starting to feel that awful despair that is just crouching at the door for so many of us right now, if we let it it.

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Then, I spoke to someone who is close to the Rav, and he told me that Rav Chaim Dovid Stern had said that if the geula came then, in Tishrei, it would be with terrible bloodshed.

So again, it has been pushed off until Nissan 5781, so it can come the sweeter way.

Honestly?

I just don’t know any more.

We for sure are in the ‘birthpangs of Moshiach’ stage of things, which is why it’s all so intense and yucky right now.

But I think I’m going to stop running after predictions about what’s really going to happen, when, because over the last few years, we have seen the Rav change things again and again and again, with all his mesirut nefesh.

But it still gave me hope to know that God didn’t forget about us all, and that something is going to change, very soon, BH, for the better.

They just wrote up Rav Stern’s comments now, on the ravberland.com site, and you can read them for yourself here.

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In the same vein, someone just emailed me comments from Binyamin Goldin, the autistic man, about the same subject of geula and Moshiach.

I haven’t read them yet (although I will) – but I don’t think I’m going to share them here, whatever they are saying, because I know that Rav Berland told the autistics to retire a few months ago, and that they didn’t listen to him.

The Rav certainly had his reasons for doing that, maybe more of that same push to stop us obsessing over dates for geula and ‘predictions’, which I’m learning more and more was such a big part of the ‘fabric’ being woven for the dark kabbalah that directly underpins Sabbateanism, and probably a few other things in the Jewish world.

At the end of the day, I just need to stay close to the true tzaddikim, talk to God every day, and work on my emuna and bad middot.

Obsessions with dates and ‘prophecies’ and trying to predict the future is just a red herring.

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On that note, we are now heading into an even stricter lockdown again here in Israel, from tomorrow night, and part of me is dreading it.

But strangely, part of me is not.

As my kid said to me last week, Ima, the blanket is being shaken but we are still holding on!!!

To be truthful, it’s not so much that I’m holding on, with my own strength. It’s much more the case that Rav Berland, and Rebbe Nachman, are holding on to me.

That difference appears small, but it’s crucial.

And it means that while the world continues to melt down in a million different ways around my ears, my life is actually pretty good right now.

I’ve spoken to other people who are close to the Rav, and who have put a lot of mesirut nefesh into being close to the Rav, and they seem to be experiencing something similar.

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As long as Rabbi Berland is in prison, the lockdowns and the evil is going to continue.

It’s as simple as that.

One of the commentators on THIS post gave a fantastic explanation of how evil basically boils down to us only seeing ourselves in the picture, and doing whatever it takes for the ME FIRST paradigm to continue.

Rav Berland has continually and consistently stressed that self-sacrifice, mesirut nefesh, is what it’s going to take to turn things around in the world.

He’s leading by example, of course.

But all his teachings boil down to working on our own bad middot enough, and working on our own emuna enough, that when God gives us the test between doing what is right, or doing what is good for us – we can make the right choice.

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So many of our leaders right now are failing that test, in a very big way.

And so many of us ‘smaller people’ are also failing that test.

Like, the woman that slapped my daughter on the bus for not wearing a mask, and the parents forcing their kids to mask-up 24/7, and pushing them to the front of the queue for experimental ‘vaccines’, and a million other examples we can all think up, from our own lives.

The choice is to do what’s right, not to do what’s easiest or most convenient for us.

The longer that choice is pushed off, the bigger the stakes grow, and the harder it gets to make the right choice.

May Hashem help us all to do what’s right, and may the Rav get out of prison – together with the rest of us – very soon.

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UPDATE:

One of my readers sent me this class by Rabbi Anava.

Over the last few years, I’ve been increasingly careful about putting up videos from rabbis on my blog, because so many of them are just not coming from a good place, and I don’t want to be putting any more stumbling blocks before the blind, God forbid.

But I trust a lot of my readers’ judgments, so I decided to listen to this, and then decide if it should go up on the site or not.

Having listened to it, I have to say I’m impressed with the courage and faith of Rav Anava.

It takes a lot of balls to come out honestly, and to say what he’s saying.

And it totally ‘fits’ with what I was saying above, about how mesirut nefesh is what it’s going to take, to get us to geula the sweet way.

So, here it is:

You might also like this article:

 

 

Some mornings, I wake up with strange ideas in my head.

[Scroll down for some important updates and links].

It’s not uncommon when I’m trying to figure things out that my head gets so stuffed full of information, I start dreaming about it.

That’s probably not so weird, but what’s more peculiar is that often, I get some tip-offs in my dreams that can sometimes lead to some interesting breakthroughs. I don’t know if that happened this morning (we’ll all have to wait and see where all this goes).

But I can tell you that  today, I woke up with the peculiar notion that Jacob Frank is the son of Yehuda Leib Ashkenazi, who in turn was the son of the ‘Chacham Tzvi’ Ashkenazi, who was also the father of Jacob Emden.

I know, that sounds like outrageous nonsense, doesn’t it?

But this tale has had so many twists and turns in it, I’m at the stage where I’m assuming nothing we’ve been told is ‘the truth’, and that everything needs to be re-examined with an open mind.

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So, let’s start with a blank sheet of paper, and jot down some of the things that just don’t make sense about the whole ‘Jacob Frank’ story we’ve all been told.

(BTW, part of the reason I’m writing this post as I go along, instead of giving it to you as a fait accompli is because I want to encourage you, dear reader, to start exploring things more for yourself, and to start making your own connections.

So this is kind of a ‘show and tell’ post, where you’ll hopefully see how one thing leads on to the next, and be inspired to start doing something similar yourself, to whatever piece of [mis]information you’re working with. I have no idea where it’s going, and we may not get a ‘breakthrough’ by the end, just so you know.)

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According to the ‘official version‘, here’s what we know about Jacob Frank’s ancestry from Wikipedia:

Jacob Frank is believed to have been born as Jakub Lejbowicz to a Polish-Jewish family in Korołówka, in Podolia of Eastern Poland (now in Ukraine), in about 1726. The Polish historian Gaudenty Pikulski affirmed that Frank was born in Buchach and Agnon even showed the house where he was born was located on Korołówka street in Buchach. His father was a Sabbatean, and moved to Czernowitz, in the Carpathian region of Bukovina in 1730, where the Sabbatean influence at the time was strong.

As a travelling merchant in textile and precious stones he often visited Ottoman territories, where he earned the nickname “Frank“, a name generally given in the East to Europeans, and lived in the centers of contemporary Sabbateanism, Salonica and Smyrna.

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Straight out the gate, I’m sitting here wondering how it is that the famous Israeli writer Shai Agnon can pinpoint Jacob Frank’s house in Buchach – but no-one can tell us who his mum and dad really were.

Here’s something else I’ve realised: the surname ‘Frank’ is a cover-up for Jacob Frank’s real surname.

Why do that?

Because the real Jacob Frank was not just some low-class ‘travelling merchant’, he was part of the Jewish elite, and came from a ‘rabbinical’ family with an illustrious pedigree.

Of that, I’m certain.

I just don’t know which family that actually was.

Yet.

Let’s continue to search for some clues.

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When I start searching for ‘Jacob Frank’ on geni, I get two profiles back:

THIS ONE, which has been put up by people descended from Frankists, and where we learn this about him:


The Zoharist Tzadik or Rebbe.

His followers were later called Frankists. 60,000 of his followers became baptised Catholics beginning in 1760. Many others remained unbaptised in the Jewish communities. His two wives have been merged into one by many writers.

His two wives were cousins called Gracia (Chana) and Josefa (Chaya). In his writings he alludes to his seven daughters. However his youngest daughter Eva Frank and her followers destroyed any records of her half-sisters who were opposed to the direction that Eva was leading the Frankist movement.

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And then THIS ONE about a ‘Rabbi Jacob Franks’ who was one of the earliest colonizers of the nascent US of A – and whose family tree has the infamous Keith Lawrence Hanit all over it.

Yes, I just fell down another rabbit hole again.

Let’s park him, for now, but I’ll definitely return to ‘Rabbi Jacob Franks’ of America, as I have a hunch that he and his family tree is hiding another very pertinent part of real Jewish history.

Let’s get back to the other Jacob Frank, (1726 – 1791), you know, the false messiah one.

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If you recall, we already figured out that Josefa (Chaya) Frank, his first wife and mother of his first six daughters, was the child of the ‘bad’ Baal Shem of London, Samuel Hayyim Falk (1710-1782).

Falk moves to London, from Podolia, when Jacob Frank is 10 years old:

Sometime after 1736, Falk arrived in London. He lived at 35 Prescott Street, London, United Kingdom and at Wellclose Square, London until his death.

That timing is crucial, because even though the Jews of that period married young, they didn’t marry before their bar of batmitzvah.

So somehow or other, a shidduch is made between Josefa Chaya Falk, in London, and Jacob Frank.

Who else was hanging out in London, at that time?

Well, that’s a very interesting question.

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The Ashkenazi Chief Rabbi of London at that time was someone who had many names, depending on where he lived.

He was known as:

Rabbi Hirschel Ben Arye Löb Levin;

Rabbi Hart Lyon (how he was known to his London congregants);

Rabbi Tzvi Hirsh Berlin; and also,

Hirshll Lobell

(Can you see why trying to keep everyone straight starts to get pretty challenging, pretty fast?)

Here’s a little bit about him from Wiki:

Rabbi Hirschel Ben Arye Löb Levin (also known as Hart Lyon and Hirshel Löbel; 1721 – 26 August 1800) was Chief Rabbi of Great Britain and of Berlin, and Rabbi of Halberstadt and Mannheim, known as a scholarly Talmudist.

His father is R’ Arye Leib Lowenstaam (1690 – 1755), who comes from a long lines of ‘illustrious rabbis’, and his mother is Miriam, the daughter of the Chacham Tzvi, and sister of Jacob Emden.

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There’s a few things here that are tripping off the ‘something’s fishy’ switch.

  1. The Wikipedia entry for Arye Leib is being disputed as ‘unfactual’ (always a good indication that it’s actually got a lot of truth in it.)
  2. There’s a lot of strange inconsistencies about the life and career of Arye Leib. Here’s a few of them:
    1. He’s deposed from the rabbinate in Tarnopol by his own community in 1718 or 1720.
    2. He holds pulpits in Glogau, Lvov AND the Chief Rabbinate of Amsterdam, (all very big posts) apparently simultaneously.
    3. He lacks the skills to be a successful preacher (as his own brother-in-law, Jacob Emden, states) – yet he’s apparently offered one plum rabbinate job after another, including the Rabbinate of Prague, which he apparently turns down:

“His first approbation as Chief Rabbi of Amsterdam dates from June 1741, on the book Kehilat Shelomo al sefer Ein Yakov, written by Shelomo Yekutiel Zalman ben Yechiel Ichel Glogau, published in Amsterdam. Aryeh signs as residing from Glogau, supervising the congregation in Lviv and ready to serve in Amsterdam, where he was appointed but apparently did not yet dwell.”

3. He’s related to ‘Eliyahu the Baal Shem of Chelm’ (the ancestor of the Chacham Tzvi), who is also famous for his ‘practical kabbalah’ and making a golem…(Click on the link – there’s a lot of weird stuff going on around ‘Eliyahu the Baal Shem of Chelm’ – and there’s that name again.)

4. Arye Leib is apparently the rabbi in Glogau at the same time as one R’ Jacob Jokel Horowitz of Galuna.

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That last name is really interesting.

I’ve been dreaming a lot about it, over the last week, and it’s connected to this, that I wrote over on the ravberland.com site, last year:

1) The Rav keeps talking about a ‘Rabbi Yaakov of Galuna’.

The Rav’s ‘Yaakov of Galuna’ is somehow equivalent to the Baal Shem Tov, who ‘finds the money’ on Erev Pesach and then goes off to bring his servant Rothschild back from exile, and to bring him back under his control. In the Rav’s story, this ‘Rothschild’ refuses.

I’ve been researching this to the best of my ability, and I can’t find any hint of a real ‘Yaakov of Galuna’, or Galina, or Galona. I have the feeling that the Rav is using his conversations about this ‘hidden tzaddik’ Reb Yaakov, who perhaps never existed, as one of the ways of sweetening the way all those morally corrupt billionaires are controlling everything from behind the scenes.

UPDATE: J., a reader, sent me this (thanks, J.!):

The Rav who blessed Reb Amschil zatsal is Rabbi Tzvi Hirsh Halevi Horowitz zatsal (father of Rabbi Pinchas Horowitz zatsal)

====

It’s amazing, how all this stuff starts to come together.

‘Rabbi Tzvi Hirsh Halevi Horowitz’ – the rav who apparently ‘blessed’ the Rothschilds with wealth – appears to be our very own Rabbi Hirschel Ben Arye Löb Levin / Rabbi Hart Lyon / Rabbi Tzvi Hirsh Berlin / Hirshll Lobell.

====

There’s clearly many more mysteries here – and I can tell you now, that I’m not going to be able to clear them up in this post.

But here’s a few more pieces of pertinent information, that I haven’t yet managed to fit in to this whole hot mess, and that I think are connected, some how.

Maybe, someone out there will have a ‘brainwave’ or dream, or get some inspiration to help move this process of clarification along, who knows?

But here are some more things to consider:

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1. I found at least one ‘older’ source that stated that Jacob Frank was born to one ‘Hirshll Lobell’ and his wife, Rachel, in Rzeszów.

That’s’ where Tzvi Hirsh Levin Ashkenazi (aka ‘Hirshll Lobell’) was also born. According to the dates given for the births of Jacob Frank and Tzvi Hirsh, however, they would have to be brothers, which would make Jacob Frank the son of ‘Arye Leib’.

Remember that ‘Leibowicz’ just means ‘son of Leib’.

Or, alternatively, the birthdates were ‘adjusted’ – even just by a handful of years – to obscure the father-child link.

Or, alternatively (and really ‘out there’ as a suggestion) – Jacob Frank and Tzvi Hirsh Levin Ashkenazi are actually the same person.

I know that’s far out, but these people excelled at living double lives – ‘big rabbi’ and ‘big merchant’, ‘big rabbi’ and ‘court factor’, ‘big rabbi’ and ‘merchant banker’, ‘orthodox Jew’ and ‘orthodox xtian’, ‘big Sabbatian’ and ‘big critic of Shabtai Tzvi’ – all in the same package.

They changed names more often than you and I change socks, and that happened even more so, when they were travelling between different countries and continents.

====

2. There’s a weird shtreimel thing going on.

I know, you’ll say that ‘everyone in those days in Poland wore a shtriemel’ – but I just don’t see that, in the portraits of other rabbis from that time.

But take a look at this image of ‘Hirschel Levin’ from the Jewish Encyclopaedia, contrasted with apparently the only extant picture available of Jacob Frank:

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Frank’s followers carried around miniature portraits of both him and his daughter, Eva.

Many people still have portraits of him in their homes or possessions as ‘family heirlooms’ – both Catholics and Jews.

I find it incredible that this pencil sketch, taken from the side so you can’t really make out Frank’s features, is all that remains in the public domain.

Even so – do you think there is a resemblance here?

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One more thing:

If you go to the Wikipedia sites in German and Polish about Jacob Frank – and Google translate them – you’ll find way more information that’s been hidden away on the English site.

Like for example, clear references to Frank’s father being a rabbi, and lots more missing bits of the story that start to fill out a few more details – but still elusively.

====

I’ll stop there for now.

I have plenty more things to start pinning down, and maybe someone else out there will have some ideas about who Jacob Frank really was.

The reason all this is so important, is because those ‘Frankists / Sabbateans / Crypto Jews’ are still running the show today, and very often, it’s their descendants who are in the driving seat of so many of the Jewish community’s institutions and organisations, both in the diaspora and in Israel, and on both the ‘secular’ and ‘religious’ side of things.

So, if we can pin down who they were then, it’ll start to get way easier to figure out who they are now.

And how they all connect to each other – and to all this ‘Covid 1984 / Great Reset / New World Order’ stuff we are all currently suffering through.

TBC

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UPDATE:

One of my readers has emailed me a bunch of interesting links, that you may or may not have come across already, which also starts to fill in the picture that most of us don’t want to look at, in terms of Sabbateans / Frankists, and how much they’ve taken over the Jewish world from the top.

I’m just going to cut and paste them here, and then feel free to look at them, or not:

This first one carries on part of the discussion from the video of the former Dutch financier, Ronald Bernard, which is connected to the current financial system that is trying to move us all over to the ‘Great Reset’ via Covid 1984:

Again, I continue to be very moved by the testimony of elite Dutch banker, Ronald Bernard and his insider perspective about the handful of Satanists, who manage to control much of the world through finance, confirming the speculations of many outside investigators over the years.

This post, today intends to take Bernard’s testimony a few steps further.

I had never heard the word “Sabbatean” until last Fall, when I was editing a foundational booklet,
“The Right to Issue” about the Central Banking System, written by William Calder. He’d told me that he’d personally met a few of the top members of the “Committee” who control the Bank of International Settlements in Basel, Switzerland, considered to be the Central Bank of Central Banks.
Calder said that ALL members at the top of the hierarchical structure of the Committee were Sabbateans and that they were very preoccupied with their bloodlines. These individuals were not free to marry without the approval of the entire Committee. 
====
Continue reading that, at the link below:

https://myemail.constantcontact.com/Rabbi-Marvin-Antelman-on-the-Sabbatean-Frankists.html?soid=1108369064136&aid=xVEKKGFftNE

I just want to stress here that you should keep your scepticism screwed up to maximum level with all this, because while there are Frankist pseudo-Jews at the highest level of this mess, there are also ‘Frankist pseudo-Catholics’ leading the charge here.

There is a lot more to this story than has yet been covered, even by the likes of R’ Marvin Antelman and Barry Chamish.

And it goes way beyond Jacob Frank or Shabtai Tzvi.

This fight between good and evil has been continuing since the creation of the world.

====

I also don’t take responsibility for anything that I myself haven’t carefully checked into, and verified, especially when it comes to claims about other Jews, and other Jewish groups.

We have to be careful, and to protect ourselves and our families from the bad people out there, but that still doesn’t give us carte blanche to believe that everything we read and learn about other Jews is definitely true.

It’s a tightrope – a very difficult tightrope – and BH, God will help us to walk it very carefully, as we carry on this birur process.

====

The ‘William Calder’ referenced above is writing a great deal about the privately owned FED in the US, and the privately-owned ‘central banking’ system across the world, pace:

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The modern economy, and particularly the whole issue of ‘money’ is a huge part of this story, and we’ll come back to it again, BH.

(In a nutshell, money is not coming with us into the world of Moshiach, so spend it on mitzvot, buy that guitar, give a load of it away to charity now, while you still can get the merit for doing that.)

====

Other links to look at:

This article is where R’ Antelman was summoned to Bet Din in Boston, for suggesting that Yonatan Eibshutz was a Sabbatean in a Hebrew book he wrote called Bechor Satan:

Ultimately, he defended his case.

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And here is where you can download the two volumes of R Antelman’s book about the Sabbatean / Frankist takeover of Judaism, (which I haven’t yet read, but plan to soon.)

http://infinity.wecabrio.com/B07FTGZ453-to-eliminate-the-opiate-vol-1-english-edition.pdf

TRY THIS LINK INSTEAD – COULDN’T GET THE OTHER ONE TO WORK:

https://rmstock.files.wordpress.com/2019/07/antelman_to_eliminate_the_opiate_vol2.pdf

– Volume 2.

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And lastly, there’s also a very interesting discussion going on over on the Israel Truth Times website, HERE:

There appears to be a Sabbatean / Frankist Jew heading up the Pfizer corporation, who is good friends with our very own Netanyahu.

You’ll recall that Pfizer is currently flooding Israel with it’s Covid ‘vaccine’, and around 800,000 poor people in this country have already had it.

That’s why I’m trying to get to the bottom of this, and to figure out who is really connected to who, and what motivations these people have for doing what they are doing.

There are very big things at stake here.

====

UPDATE 2:

And here is where you can download the PDF copy of Ben Hecht’s book Perfidy, which details how the proto-State of Israel mamash collaborated with Hitler’s regime, particular in relation to preventing the Jews left in Hungary from making it to Israel, and being saved from the gas chambers:

http://aaargh.vho.org/fran/livres6/perfidy.pdf

So much of this has been hiding in plain view for almost a century.

We just didn’t want to believe it.

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Like a lot of people, I’ve been trying to develop ‘coping strategies’ to deal with my underlying anxiety.

Of course, doing hitbodedut for an hour a day is top of the list.

And also, saying the Tikkun Haklali, and other prayers from the Rav (more on that soon).

And yes, giving tzedaka and doing pidyonot – especially with Shuvu Banim, and the people and organisations connected to it – are the key pillars of my coping strategy, and BH they are working.

====

That said, I spend a lot of time in my head, and I’ve learned over the years how important it is to also ground my body in ‘this world’, if I don’t want to crack up physically.

In the past (and when it’s not lockdown / coronafascism), I would take a walk for an hour every single day, while I was talking to God.

That way, the soul could express itself, while the body got a workout.

The last few months, that’s been much, much harder, as I don’t want to attract any attention for not wearing a mask (even tho you are allowed to exercise without one). It’s hard to stay ‘in the flow’ of talking to God, when you’re constantly scanning the 100 metres ahead to see if the bizzies are there, by the side of the road, just waiting to ticket you for breathing fresh air.

So I’ve been struggling a bit to find other ways to ground myself.

====

Enter: the guitar.

I have wanted to learn how to play guitar since I was six. My mother had an old guitar that was hopelessly out of tune, and that I tried to strum when I was a kid. But it sounded so bad, and I had no idea what I was doing, so eventually, I quit and forgot all about it.

As a grown up, I tried to persuade my kids, and even my husband, to learn the guitar.

No-one really took to it, and we just kind of collected old, cheap guitars until some kid took them off to school and donated them to the communal effort.

I never thought I’d play the guitar as an adult.

It hurts your fingers.

And I don’t read music.

And I’m too old to do that, now….

Except, I’m not.

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A couple of months ago, one of the juvenile delinquents that occasionally visits my house brought his guitar, and tried to encourage me to play it.

I made the usual excuses (see above) – but he didn’t take no for an answer.

He told me anyone can play the guitar, and it’s just a matter of wanting to do it.

A month ago, I was walking past the little music shop on Ben Yehuda when I suddenly had an epiphany:

I’m going to try to learn the guitar!

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I went in, find a classical guitar for a very reasonable price, and brought it home.

For the next three days I had a barrage of constant abuse and sniping from one of my kids (it’s that age…), where she was ‘sure’ I was going to give up within the week, and that I’d just wasted my money.

God sent her as an angel to get me through the painful fingers stage.

Because there was no way I was going to give in now, and give her the satisfaction of being right. I found an online course over at guitartricks.com for complete beginners (which I have to say, is really, really good) – and I started the process.

I’ve been at this for around a month now, and I’ve learned 7 chords OK, and I’m practising 2 more chords badly…

But I’m almost at the stage where at least sometimes, it sounds akin to music.

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I know this is quite a ‘mundane’ post, in the middle of all the madness that we’re all living through right now.

But I wanted to write it, to encourage YOU, dear reader, to find something that will still make your soul sing, at least a little, in the middle of all the craziness.

Whether it’s buying yourself a nice box of watercolour paints, or a musical interest, or learning how to knit, or carve wood, or play darts, or even, just to find a good workout routine you can do at home and that energises you, it’s so important right now to find something ‘grounded’, that brings you joy.

I’m never going to be a virtuoso guitar player, but just being able to strum a bit, and to finally start living that dream is making me really happy.

Even in the middle of lockdowns and coronafascism, there is still so very much to be grateful for.

There is still so much we can do to make the world a better place, and to keep our souls alive.

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Top of the list is praying, hitbodedut, charity and kindnesses for others, ESPECIALLY OUR SPOUSES AND CHILDREN.

But don’t forget about your body.

Don’t forget about yourself.

Find something ‘in this world’ that will make your soul sing, and also keep your body happy, and do it!

As Hillel said, ‘if not now, when?’

Everything is up in the air, the whole world is changing, everything is in flux.

But we can still serve Hashem in these small ways, by strumming a guitar, gardening, sewing, painting, writing poetry – whatever it is that speaks to you.

While we’re waiting for the Rav to get out of prison, finally, and for the ‘Great Reset’ from the side of holiness to begin in earnest.

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But of course, it doesn’t always feel like that.

Israel is apparently going into another totally unnecessary lockdown from Sunday, and I’m struggling a little to deal with the fact that these evil people are still continuing on with their nefarious agendas.

It’s pretty demoralising.

Not least, the idea that I feel so powerless to stop them, or to do anything that will make a difference.

But really, that’s not true.

====

God is controlling the world.

Only God.

And just as Joseph HaTzaddik ‘unmasked’ himself before the brothers, Hashem will ‘unmask’ Himself from behind all the pain and craziness that’s currently going on, which is really just a test of our middot.

All this cleaning out the pipes, it’s drawing those lines in the sand that start to clearly delineate who is doing what, which side people are really on – the side of truth, or the side of lies – and to encourage all of us to get down to the work of forging a real connection with God.

====

At the same time – I have never found it so hard to do hitbodedut.

I wake up and just stare at the walls for an hour, instead of doing al netilat yedayim and getting on with my prayers and my hour of talking to God.

BH, I still manage to do it at some point in the day, but I know from past experience that when I find it hard to talk to God, it’s because I’m angry at Him.

I’m angry that innocent teenagers are being killed in cold blood by the evil Israeli police.

I’m angry that we’re having to go into yet another lockdown, supported by the usual tissue of propaganda and outrageous lies.

I’m angry that God has let the Jewish people be lead and mislead by a bunch of evil, two-faced narcissists who are really only interested in money and power.

I’m angry that Moshiach isn’t here already, clearing this mess up.

====

That’s my work right now.

To admit I’m angry, and then to take that admission back to God, in hitbodedut, and to try to turn it into emuna and bitul, acceptance of God’s will.

It’s hard.

But that’s the whole point.

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Over Shabbat, I was doing some hard thinking and praying.

As a rule, I’m someone who likes to pin things down, as much as possible, and to leave as little wiggle room as possible when I’m researching things.

I like clear facts, I like strong delineation, I like to know exactly what I’m dealing with.

But, I’m not sure that is the right thing to continue doing with all this genealogy stuff.

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I had the thought over Shabbat that maybe, the point has been made strongly enough that each one of us could be related to a saint – or mamash an evildoer.

I don’t know that I need to keep pinning things down at this stage, to make it obvious whose grand-daddy is Jacob Frank, or whose ancestors were actually in the forefront of all the yucky, nasty things that have occurred within the Jewish community.

The point is, for us ALL to stop boasting about yichus, and to start having some humility.

The point is, for us ALL to start working on overcoming our bad middot, and to stop pretending that ‘the problem’ is in some other camp, some other person’s back yard.

The point is, all of us have the potential to become the biggest tzaddik – or the worst sinner.

Regardless of our yichus.

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Things might change.

If I get another strong steer in hitbodedut to pick this up again, I will.

But for now, I’m calling a halt to the process of investigation.

And it’s for each one of us to take the message to heart, that the only thing that is required for us to be a tremendous force for good in the world is the will, the ratzon to keep looking ourselves squarely in the face, to keep working on our bad middot, and to speak to God every single day, and to keep asking Him what He wants from us.

And that no-one is ‘better’ than us, just because they can claim descent from a big rabbi.

Especially if their middot are in the toilet.

TBC

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Probably like everyone else out there, I’m struggling a bit at the moment.

Most of the time I’m fine, but then I’ll get hit with a big wave of yeoush, or a big wave of sadness, and then I don’t feel like doing anything much.

Or, I’ll feel totally overwhelmed.

Or, I’ll feel some not so low level panic.

And I know I’m not alone.

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My middot are getting a really good work out at the moment, and I’m not always acting and reacting the way I would like.

I’m spending a lot of time online, researching all these Shabbatean Frankist people, and I’m aware that as well as being useful (at least on some level…) it’s also totally an ‘escape from reality’ project, to help me cope with a reality that I really don’t like so much, or find very easy.

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Today, one of my kids wanted the house to herself, so she could invite 15 classmates around and just whoop it up without any adults around.

I’m trying to accommodate my teens anyway I can, to try and preserve their mental health in a world gone mad.

So I said ‘yes’.

And then, I pondered to myself what on earth I was going to do, to get myself ‘out of the way’ while she whoops it up in the house.

I mean, the restaurants and cafes (that re-opened….) are all take-out only.

I can’t stand shopping with a mask.

And because the weather is pouring rain and thunder storms, long walks in nature or by the beach were also out.

As usual, the Rav came to the rescue.

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I checked the shuvubanim website, and saw that the indefatigable Aron Shwartz was arranging another protest on behalf of the Rav, this time a convoy of cars to leave from Bnai Brak at 1.30 today, headed towards the High Court in Jerusalem.

I had a date!

Of course, it was later than planned. It only really got going at 2.30.

And of course, there weren’t a ton of cars who showed up for it.

A lot of Shuvu Banim don’t have cars, in the first place.

And the weather was so bad, it’s amazing anyone showed up, honestly.

But for the first hour, I was driving along in the convoy feeling quietly happy that I was part of this outfit.

Then, we took a wrong turn down the wrong road, and all of a sudden, my mood plummeted.

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What the heck am I doing here?!? 

I’m totally wasting my time….

How is this going to make even the smallest bit of difference, barely a minyan in a few cars driving slowly on the side of the road in the pouring rain and the dark?

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For an hour, I had maximum yeoush and sadness and ‘lowliness’ going on again.

Then we got to Jerusalem, and that’s when we started beeping loudly, as our small convoy drove through some of the major chareidi neighborhoods with our two signs about the Rav stuck on the first and last cars in line.

As a rule, I try very hard to NOT beep.

But man, was I beeping a ton today.

And as I beeped – repeatedly – Hashem reminded me that the wars of Am Yisrael were never fought with big armies and overwhelming force.

They were fought with very small groups of Jews, who believed in something bigger than them.

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That’s how the walls of Jericho fell.

That’s how the Maccabees overcame the Greeks.

All I have to do is show up, and beep a little, and God is going to make all those walls start tumbling down by themselves.

BH, very soon.

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Over Shabbos, I was reading the parsha.

(Occasionally that still happens 😉

We were in Vayetzei, where Yaakov runs away from his psycho brother, to try and find a wife in the home of his equally ‘difficult’ Uncle Lavan.

As I was reading, I was struck by the parenting paradigm that seems to characterize our holy forefathers of Abraham, Yitzhak and Yaakov – and that of Laban.

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To put it at its most blunt, whereas the Patriarchs and Matriarchs adopted a parenting paradigm that could be summed up as ‘put your kid first, ahead of your own interests’, Laban’s paradigm was the polar opposite.

Laban used his kids to further his own ends.

He ‘sold’ his daughter to Yaakov – as they themselves complain, in the parsha, not even giving them a dowry and instead expecting Yaakov to ‘pay’ for them with 14 years of hard work.

Then, when Yaakov wants to flee, Leah and Rachel tell him Go!!! There is nothing here for us, our father certainly won’t let us inherit anything together with his sons!!! And he didn’t even bother giving us a dowry when we got married, and all his calculations just boil down to what’s best for him.

Or in other words: Lavan didn’t really care a fig about his children, and on some level, they knew that.

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What does all this have to do with us, today?

The Torah is timeless, eternal, don’t you know? Don’t you know, that even today there are parents who will persistently put what is best for them, what suits them, what is most comfortable for them ahead of what is best for their kids.

Sometimes, this is blatant.

Sometimes, it’s clear that the parent is pushing a career, a course of action, a school, a decision, on their kids 100% because it suits them.

Even if it’s the worst thing in the world for their kid.

Other times, it’s way more subtle.

We parents tell ourselves we’re doing everything only for our kids, when we boss them around, use them as a passive ‘audience’ to talk at, push our own ideas and notions down their throats and then react angrily if they dare to disagree.

But if we were a little more honest, a little more humble, a little more willing to explore what’s really going on, inside ourselves, maybe, just maybe, we’d realize that sometimes, we’re actually acting in a very selfish way, when it comes to our children.

====

I’d love to tell you that this ‘Laban style’ of me-first parenting is very uncommon, especially in the orthodox Jewish world.

But if I did, I’d be lying.

In the orthodox and not-so-orthodox Jewish world, I’ve seen a long line of parents abusing their children while hiding behind the cloak of kibud av’ v’em.

They rely on a warped understanding of the commandment to respect the parent, which they interpret to mean that the parent can do anything they want to the kid, and hurt them and let them down in any way they wish, and the kid just has to take it and carry on doing what the parent wants.

====

Listen, I’m also a parent.

I’m also a flawed human being. I know how easy it is to use kibud av ve’em as a manipulative tool to avoid having to look ourselves in the eye and deal with our own bad middot, and having to make compromises, and having to put up with situations that we’d rather not deal with.

But if I’ve learnt one thing over the last few years, it’s just how much a parent’s mesirut nefesh can heal the soul of their child.

That means the parent is going to give the kid money, time and support – not expect it from their child.

That means that the parent is going to do their best to compromise and back down – not automatically expect that their word should be law.

And it means that as much as we can, we sacrifice what we want, what’s comfortable for us, what’s easiest and nicest for us to choose the path that is genuinely best for our kids.

====

Your kid doesn’t want to marry someone from a background you feel comfortable with?

Your kid doesn’t want to join your family business and effectively ‘work for free’ to support you in your old age?

They don’t want to be so frum?

Or maybe, they DO want to be more frum?

There is no way they are going to university…. OR they dafka are going to university?

They do want to vaccinate your grandkids, they don’t want to vaccinate your grandkids….?

All these things – and more, way more – can cut through a parent’s heart like a knife through hot butter.

If we let them. If we adopt Laban’s parenting paradigm.

====

What does Laban say to Yaakov?

“The daughters are mine and the sons are mine, everything you see before you is mine.”

When we treat our children as though they are our possessions, to do anything we want with, that’s parenting like Laban.

And if we continue parenting like Lavan, then at some point, for their own mental health, our children will have to leave us stealthily in the night, and run away somewhere far, far away.

For their own mental sanity.

====

So, may God help us to put our kids first; to choose what’s right for them over what’s best or easiest for us, and to heal all the broken-hearted children out there (of all ages), who are still so hungry for the real love of their parents.

Amen.

====

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I had something of an epiphany yesterday evening.

I was in the car with my oldest daughter yesterday, as part of her levuyee 3 month period post passing her driving test, when she has to be accompanied by an adult.

So, we’re driving to Mahane Yehuda, and I was still in the bad mood I’ve been in for a week, on and off.

Suddenly, this song by Yaakov Shwekey started playing:

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I know God uses all sorts of different things to give us messages – even cheesy (but catchy…) tunes by Yaakov Shwekey.

So, I’m listening to it, and I hear these words:

“Life is the people we love
And what we give to one another
Loving is giving, giving is life”

And suddenly, a light bulb goes off in my head.

====

The last few weeks, I’ve been struggling with a feeling that nothing really matters. 

I know I’m not alone in that. I see my kids, and my kids’ friends, and I speak to my own peers and relatives, and I know so many of us are struggling in this ‘Covid-1984’ reality, to really find meaning in life.

Suddenly, all the certainties got blown out the water.

The career really isn’t worth as much as we thought. Making enough money has become even harder. Any ‘certainty’ that remained has vanished in a puff of smoke. And all our ‘standards’ and ‘goals’ and ‘plans’ have dissolved, as well.

It’s hard to plan, hope and dream when we literally have no idea what the next 24 hours will bring.

====

And then add on to that the tremendous difficulties and obstacles that we’re all encountering to do even basic mitzvot right now.

As well as the onslaught against holy places, yeshivot, mikvahs and synagogues, and the deliberate closures planned to coincide with every Jewish holiday, there’s also the ‘bog standard’ miniot that accompany every mitzvah.

Even stuff like going for a walk has got so much harder, mentally, wrapped up as it know is in 5 million internal discussions about mask-wearing, dodging the police, how fast to walk in order to be able to claim “I’m exercising”, and all the rest of it.

====

So it is, that I’ve been in a place the last few weeks where I’m finding it hard to answer the question:

What is the point of all this?

What’s the point of getting out of bed?

What’s the point of writing more stuff?

Or cooking more things?

What’s the point of trying to build, to create, to unite, when there is just such a huge big enterprise of evil that controls the world (apparently….) and that just continues to destroy, degrade and divide?

I’ve been struggling mightily to answer that question.

And then yesterday, I heard this song by Shwekey, and it something clicked.

====

Right now, the whole job is just to work on my bad middot, and to do kindnesses for others.

And also, for myself.

And that’s it.

It’s a big enough job, believe me.

The last few weeks, my tolerance and patience for anyone else has been really low, even for the people I love the most.

I see now, that it’s all just a mirror.

God is making us all super-sensitised to ‘bad’ so we can clean up our act.

But the corollary of that is that we are seeing ‘bad’ all over the place, because the time has truly come to deal with it properly.

Each of us has our own job to do, to clean up our act.

I certainly have a lot of work to do, to start seeing ‘the good’ again, and to stop focussing so much on the bad.

And when I do that, I know the world around me will also automatically start to look like a brighter, nicer and more hopeful place again.

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