But of course, it doesn’t always feel like that.

Israel is apparently going into another totally unnecessary lockdown from Sunday, and I’m struggling a little to deal with the fact that these evil people are still continuing on with their nefarious agendas.

It’s pretty demoralising.

Not least, the idea that I feel so powerless to stop them, or to do anything that will make a difference.

But really, that’s not true.

====

God is controlling the world.

Only God.

And just as Joseph HaTzaddik ‘unmasked’ himself before the brothers, Hashem will ‘unmask’ Himself from behind all the pain and craziness that’s currently going on, which is really just a test of our middot.

All this cleaning out the pipes, it’s drawing those lines in the sand that start to clearly delineate who is doing what, which side people are really on – the side of truth, or the side of lies – and to encourage all of us to get down to the work of forging a real connection with God.

====

At the same time – I have never found it so hard to do hitbodedut.

I wake up and just stare at the walls for an hour, instead of doing al netilat yedayim and getting on with my prayers and my hour of talking to God.

BH, I still manage to do it at some point in the day, but I know from past experience that when I find it hard to talk to God, it’s because I’m angry at Him.

I’m angry that innocent teenagers are being killed in cold blood by the evil Israeli police.

I’m angry that we’re having to go into yet another lockdown, supported by the usual tissue of propaganda and outrageous lies.

I’m angry that God has let the Jewish people be lead and mislead by a bunch of evil, two-faced narcissists who are really only interested in money and power.

I’m angry that Moshiach isn’t here already, clearing this mess up.

====

That’s my work right now.

To admit I’m angry, and then to take that admission back to God, in hitbodedut, and to try to turn it into emuna and bitul, acceptance of God’s will.

It’s hard.

But that’s the whole point.

====

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18 replies
  1. Rachel Erman
    Rachel Erman says:

    I read your post, and it really got me thinking. What’s the whole idea of being “angry with G-d”? Why is it our default reaction and then we have to work on changing it? It seems they almost never felt that way in the times of Rebbe Nachman although their realities were much harsher then ours.

    Reply
    • Rivka Levy
      Rivka Levy says:

      How do you know that?

      Rabbenu talks a lot about how he frequently got demoralised and then found it hard to talk to God.

      But he always came back, sooner or later.

      It’s the idea of running and returning.

      Reply
      • Rachel Erman
        Rachel Erman says:

        “Demoralized” and “angry” are very different emotions. I don’t think it even occurred to him to be angry at Hashem. He talked a lot about how important it is to believe that everything that happens is for the best.

        Reply
        • Rivka Levy
          Rivka Levy says:

          Of course. but without skipping over the real emotions.

          also, Rebbe Nachman himself didn’t speak so much specifically about believing that everything happens for the best, although of course that’s an integral part of the teaching of bitul. He spoke more of accepting God’s will unconditionally, and of God doing what was best in His eyes.

          Rachel, why is it so challenging to believe that our real tzaddikim could have experienced emotions like anger?

          Rabbenu said explicitly that he struggled to overcome his temper in his youth. That means he got angry. Even a lot.

          Reply
          • Rachel Erman
            Rachel Erman says:

            But he did speak specifically about accepting that everything is for the best. Lesson 4: “When a person know that everything that happens to him is for his benefit (לטובתו), this perception is a foretaste of the World to Come”. And he very much recommended working on attaining this perception.

          • Rachel Erman
            Rachel Erman says:

            Of course, our tzaddikim did experience emotions like anger, but it was never anger at Hashem. At least, everything that ever read about them leads to that conclusion.

    • True Tzadikkim
      True Tzadikkim says:

      Bs”d

      Rabeinu was very mad when someone raped one of his family members and engaged her. He forced that person to give her a get and made sure that everyone in the family knew. And believe me, we do and my blood cook just by thinking about it. Soon there will be Sanhedrin. Everyone will know Hashem in fear or love. Anger…Hashem ish Milchama.
      Goiym b esh!
      What it means?
      These that hurt us will have some fun any moment soon. How i know?
      My ABBA IS ANGRY!

      Reply
  2. Reuven
    Reuven says:

    Although the tragedy of the death of the teenager is heart-breaking and difficult for us to accept, for the purposes of strengthening our Emuna, it is important to remember that Hashem is entirely just, and that we must try to accept that what happened was entirely meant to be. The Ba’al Shem Tov and Rabbenu, and others, explain that the Tikkunim that happen in the world are often based on previous re-incarnations where this one killed that one, and now needs to be fixed in this lifetime etc. Everything that happens is a Tikkun (a rectification of the soul). Hashem is perfect and He knows what He’s doing. Our job is to try to accept that we don’t know what’s going on, or why, and to trust Him that He does.

    Reply
    • nonee
      nonee says:

      So, if EVERYTHING’ is from G-d, why do the Jewish people keep getting angry and speaking against non-Jews, and blaming non-Jews for all that happens -all the bad that is in the world, espcecially to the Jews??

      Take it accept it, for as per your belief, it is from the Creator, that means, it includes hitler and the likes, geez… i don’t see it that way.

      Jews all good, rest of the world all bad. Jews keep crying, we are ‘victims’ yet thousands of non jewish people, innocent just there where G-d put them, yet good people, doing no harm to anyone, being killed mercilesslly, wounded, hurt the worst being done to them, and you all have no thoughts for them?? Only keep seeing yourselves as victims, and oh poor us.

      I am waiting for the time when Mashiach comes. I am not a Jew.. i am just me, following the Creator. I was trying to learn from many Jews, and came across only how they are the best, the rest just useless beasts, who one day will serve the chosen as animals.
      Bah humbug, and I too get mad at Gd, i talk to H-m, and I am not a Jew, so there, will wait and see what comes next.
      A lot of you think too much of only yourselves, and holy people you read only what they write, no one knows what they themselves really felt, like getting angry with Gd, that only the Creator knows, you all only know what they wrote, perhaps, they wrote only the thoughts they had, but at times must have gotten mad at Gd. So you people a lot of you are good at assuming things, and putting down non-Jews, and then blaming them for your troubles. Oh, i just hope the Mashicach comes soon. If my thinking is wrong, so be it, you all wil not judge me, Gd will, Amen.
      Bah humbug!!

      Reply
      • Rivka Levy
        Rivka Levy says:

        Nonee, you seem to be mixing up a whole bunch of stuff in your comments.

        Jews get angry when we’re hurt because we don’t (yet…) have perfect emuna.

        And anyone – Jew or non-Jew – who hurts someone else will have to pay the consequence for being the ‘stick’ that Hashem is using to do His will in the world.

        That’s why we pray that Hashem shouldn’t use us to be the one to hurt others, and that’s why we pray to forgive others unconditionally every evening before we go to sleep. And that’s why the nations of the world WILL be punished, still, for all the suffering they’ve caused to Jews and others (and to themselves….) – because everyone has free choice AND God is running the world 100%.

        To say that you ‘only’ came across Jews who think they are the best and that non-Jews are just ‘animals’ who need to serve them isn’t true. I don’t hold that attitude, and neither do a whole bunch of other Jews that I know, and neither does my Rav, Rav Berland.

        Everyone is created in the image of Hashem.

        Are there bad Jews? Of course! The bigger the fruit, the bigger the peel. The bigger the ability to do good, the bigger the balancing ability to do bad.

        Otherwise, I suggest you re-read your comments before sending them in, to make sure they really reflect what you’re trying to say, and aren’t just rants because you happen to be having a bad day.

        Reply
        • Daisy Stern
          Daisy Stern says:

          Sorry to say, but Nonee’s rant reminds me of many similar rants I keep reading in comments on various antisemitic websites: a bunch of lies of course. Repeat it often enough and it will become a self-fulfilling prophecy: we WILL start to think that way about goyim if you don’t stop making those false accusations!

          Reply
          • Rivka Levy
            Rivka Levy says:

            That’s true, Daisy.

            The problem we have, however, as a people, is that not everything the anti semites are saying about us is incorrect.

            If there is no ‘judgment below’ – i.e., if we don’t start acknowledging these issues ourselves honestly, and ‘judging them’ internally and dealing with them, then there is ‘judgment above’ – i.e. retribution can come from outside our communities, but it’s all because we aren’t ‘judging ourselves’, and are trying to whitewash everything.

            Clearly, it’s a very fine line.

  3. Daisy Stern
    Daisy Stern says:

    Rivka,

    Of course, there are a lot of things they say about us that some of us have done, nobody is denying that. I am specifically referring to the accusation that somehow we think that goyim are only there to serve us. This is coming straight out of the Protocols of the Elders of Zion, one part of which I am linking to in the Comments section of the post I wrote tonight – see below; the video was provided by Moshe, I watched it and it is very informative. BTW this happened AFTER I had written that post. Nonee’s accusation has nothing to do with the average Jew , come on! Do you even know ONE Jew who thinks that way? I certainly don’t!
    https://israeltruthtimes.blogspot.com/2020/12/murderers-everywherepart-xi-very-best.html

    Reply
    • Rivka Levy
      Rivka Levy says:

      Daisy, I have seen orthodox Jewish commentators say something along those lines, and I’m pretty sure they weren’t basing themselves on the Protocols of the Elders of Zion.

      It’s a very complicated and complex area, and no doubt, it also needs a lot of birur.

      BH, Hashem should help us all to do it in the correct, gentle and respectful way.

      Reply
  4. True Tzadikkim
    True Tzadikkim says:

    Bs”d
    We are in times of mashiah and every self respecting goy=7 mitzvot keeping Noachide know this and stay now out of Israel. Only these that serve with work while respecting banot and banim shel Meleh can stay. I have many Noachide friends from my times in galut. They give me respect and care about us and visa versa. In a same way a woman is woman and man is man. To be now in Israel is diferent situation and a position the none Jews choose. To serve. To obey the Sanhedrin.
    Klipot ra that hate us, are cutted of any moment soon. Free choice to hurt us will be gone. Everything was created for the purpose to serve Torah. Live with it or die with this knowlegde.
    By the way, every kosher Jew is Sefer Torah. When we serve Hashem, the teva serve us, including the galgalim (sun, moon, etc.).
    Hard to diggest for these that crown themself instead of Hashem. Crown=CORONA.

    Reply

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