The word in Hebrew for ‘going with the flow’ is zorem.
I had a little holiday the last few days up North, and just tried to do that.
The last few weeks, I have been feeling SO stressed. My eye was ‘ticking’ away, I had weirds aches and ‘clicks’ going on all over the place….
Partially, it’s the worry, partially it’s the stress, partially, it’s the lack of emuna, where I forgot that God is actually running the world, and has a plan.
Regardless of how it sometimes looks to us mere mortals.
So, I decided when we went away for a few days, instead of planning and planning and planning our break, like I usually do, we were just going to zorem.
And leave more space for God to decide how we spent our time.
The first night, the place where we were staying experienced a freak hurricane.
Our baal habayit had a tree blow over in his garden, and all night long you could hear the wind whistling around, and chairs and garden furniture being blown around, and tipped over.
That day, we’d had to cancel all the plans to visit this place, visit that place, because the weather was just so wet and blowy.
Zorem, zorem, zorem….
(I whispered to myself through clenched teeth).
If God was deciding we just had to stay home and read a bunch of books, or something, then fine.
That first day was actually awesome.
I read a book I’d just ordered called ‘Our earth, our cure‘, that gave me renewed hope that there really are so many ways we can cure our bodies, with God’s help, and without the corrupt Western medical profession.
More on that soon, BH.
The next day, we continued to take it uncharacteristically easy.
We walked around Tsfat. Slowly.
Visited some kivrei tzaddikim.
Sat on some stone steps in the Old City and watched the sun go down.
Zorem, zorem, zorem.
By day three, I was kind of back into ‘making things happen’ mode a bit more, and while there was some good stuff happening – like Rabbi Akiva’s tomb in Tiveria and Meir Baal Ha’Ness – the more ‘holiday-ish’ stuff we did, like a visit to the Hamat HaGader hot springs, kinda flopped.
Not for the first time, it showed me that without that spiritual dimension to life, the ‘gashmiut’ just feels so empty and unfulfilling, somehow.
That first day, I shlepped up a bunch of wholewheat pitas, some really good sausages with a good hechsher, the gas thing to cook them, and some tomatoes and cucumbers, to stuff in the pitas.
But it turned out, I forgot the ketchup.
My husband and me looked at each other, horror-struck, after I’d spent a few minutes rummaging around the food bag.
Then, I realised that this is exactly how the yetzer hara ruins everything, all the time.
It takes all that tremendous effort, all that good stuff you’ve done, and tried to do, and boils it all down to the fact that but you forgot the ketchup….
Stuff the ketchup!!!
I told my husband.
Look at all the effort we put into getting this simple meal together, and let’s just love and appreciate ourselves for doing it, instead of beating ourselves up for ‘forgetting the ketchup’!!!!
I am starting to realise that there is some big work to do still, to develop the sort of positive and appreciative mindset I really need to have, going forward, to stop all the ‘stress’ of this world, and our current crazy situation, from taking me out all the time.
And it all starts at the level of the ketchup.
People, we have our work cut out for us!
More and more, I’m coming to the conclusion that what we believe, is what is going to make our reality, going forward.
When you have your eyes open, like BH so many of my readers do, that can make our current reality seem super-scary and stressful.
But we can’t just live in fear all the time!
That’s probably the very worst thing we could do, for so many reasons.
I’ve been thinking a lot about how to balance ‘being awake’ with ‘being happy’, and BH, we’ll continue to explore that idea some more, over the next few days and weeks.
And I’m also going to fill out more parts of the ‘real human health’ equation too, because there are so many ways that God can use to heal us.
Without pills and Western doctors.
But so much of this rolls back around to that idea of what we believe, is what is going to make our reality.
Which is why emuna is the bedrock that every good thing, including hope and healing and happiness, is built on.
Lots of thinking going on here.
Lots of asking God to show me, how I balance ‘awake’ with ‘happy’.
Lots of figuring out how I can let go of as much as possible, and zorem, while still getting things done.
It’s a work in progress.
But there IS a light starting to shine at the end of the very long tunnel.
I just don’t know how long still, till we make it through, and out the other side.
PS: Baruch Hashem, I am still getting abusive comments from the person who liked to call himself ‘Jerusalem Resident’, or JR for short.
The latest one I just put into spam was his warning to you, dear reader, to run away from me and my site immediately, as I am apparently the last bastion of the ‘Rav Berland cult’.
That’s such a big compliment, I was thinking of printing it out big and framing it for my wall…
Just to be clear, the Rav, together with Rebbe Nachman, is where I get my strength and courage to continue writing this blog.
Every time I want to give up, or I want to run away, I get renewed koach from going to the Rav’s prayers, and / or reading his advice, and /or cracking open one of Rabbenu’s books.
If you don’t like that – as ‘JR’ clearly never did, and never could – then I suggest you take his advice, and run away from me and my blog.
The yucky people are always ‘anti’ the Rav, that’s just how it is.
So, if Rav Berland offends you, please do run away from here and never look back!
Because the days of me toning that side of things down just so I don’t upset anyone is past.
Rav Berland and Rebbe Nachman are a big part of the solution to the problems we are all facing right now.
And as things progress, I am going to be explaining more of why that is.
So, only stick around if you’re happy with that. And if you’re not…. there are plenty other blogs and sites you can read, b’simcha.
And in the meantime…. the poisonous commentators will keep getting sent to spam, until they finally get that message.
Because life is too short to keep arguing with yucky people.
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